Totally Screwed

You know when your coping mechanism of laughter is all you got because you're beyond screwed? I'm really doing so good at fighting demons by making fun of what they are saying...like mortal combat or some shit and I am like damnit I am not taking a med...I will win! Ya all are saying stupid shit really. For example I said I was "interesting" and they say "you're interesting like a turd in a toilet." I'm pretty sure that was funny?

Mean. Mean. And I have a come back every time.. and all day I was just funny and laughing...and I am exhausted with it and totally laughing like a lunatic and I don't care...that is how I am dealing with it today. And they are just yappers. And I am like I have seen heaven, I know the truth and I am not gonna let you intimidate me fukers!

I want to win. And saying obvious shit that I have heard in Flatt that no longer effects me...I am like whatever. I went to the hospital today and got blood drawn to check my lithium...and usually it would set me off and I would think it was fake or like a museum...I was fine. I am getting stronger...but it's like I don't know it's like I don't even want to talk about it anymore...dude it's the "struggle bus..."

They are stupid and annoying and cuss way too much and I am not gonna let them win.

Hanging with Nancy tonight so that's good. Bye ya all.

PS then I go to the store and I hear "you are paranoid to go in the store..."the fuk I am! Watch me" ok winning yet.

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