A Gift

From Thunder Fichter at Thunderfichterontheyellowstone.blogspot.com 


 "Because you're gifted you get treated like you're crazy. Well, I'm here to show the entire fucking world that fearless is not crazy and having a spiritual awakening (which you were born with) is not a clinical ISSUE. The world was wrong to diagnose you, you should have been supported. Your gifts make you brilliant. But the drugs they put you on to dimmer your light definitely effect the brain so they have the excuse to call you whatever they want. It's fucked up." - Thunder Fichter 

It effects the brain it really does. I have been medicated for a spiritual awakening for 27 years. I don't think the meds help! I am one awakened monster, rolled through the legal system like a red carpet waiting to be a celebrity. I am for sure famous when I cross over. Somewhere I am known to all, and I go there often. But really I am told I am crazy and worthless and a dead beat.  No matter my energy level which is supposedly scary to people when I am at my highest functioning...or sleeping through the days like a zombie.

 There has got to be a happy middle realm where I can exist.  Fearless? I don't know about me but Thunder is! When you go through struggles they either make or break you, and Thunder's affirming words through messenger this morning really help me feel better. I've been in identity crisis for a long time. Its rather confusing traipsing different dimensions and having a million different opinions, in every direction, of my behaviors in psychosis.  What I see when crossed over is very real to me but I guess no one else?  Or at least I don't know the people that hallucinate whole other hierarchy of society, based on inheritance, starting at the beginning of time.

I've been attending alot of support meetings and one guy and I were talking.  We were discussing how much trouble we had been in with the law.  I said "it was all because I was crazy." He said the sweetest thing and told me "You're not crazy, you're gifted."  This delighted me to my core.  A person seeing me as a good thing and not a less than thing, which is mostly in my head because most people are not even seeing me.  But there is the delusional thinking that the spirit realms watch me closely. Sometimes I feel like a detective on a mystery show.and my every step counts.  Like I am buried in time and space, and if I could just do everything right, I will find Jake.  Like steal running trucks right by his house. (Jake is a goner) but my truest soul mate that I am challenged to avenge. He died at 23, by suicide...maybe you can get more familiar with him by reading more of my posts!  LOL.

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