Where is my muse?

 When to come to my mind would be now.  Somewhere in this dark and dreary world is my sunshine.  Alone alot.  Tired alot.  Nothing on my mind...where is my muse?

Hes gone.

There is nothing left to say or write or dream I am old and ready to move on to the next life.  I cannot kill myself though.  This life has been hard.  The ups and downs of it.  I am ready for your return Jesus, the waiting part is the hardest. I want to see Jacob. My main man.  

Someone stole my book "Cheerleaders and Straightjackets."  At least they found it interesting!

Where are the days where I can come up with talented writing and want to sit here for hours and type???  Why in the world did I lost sight of all that?  And when did I become such a slacker?  

Ive been on disability `11 years now.  Its catching up with me.  I feel ancient and ready to die. No I am not suicidal I just feel played out.  I need to grab hold of something tangible to this realm and go for it.  I need a way to make money to survive and thrive and take my kids on a vacation.

Lord help me I am drowning here.

Signed a old crazy cat lady