"That's what the mentally ill people do." A 24 year old says to me at the same time convincing me to take meds, what she offers to the solution to my current money issues...is a hotel room cleaning job. She says "their" jobs are much easier. I never realized that hotels would cater to me? Wow ok...this changes everything...my hopes my dreams, my effort all can be solved if I just humble myself and pay my dues! Just stay medicated and clean some more...cause they make the cleaning job easier for the "mentally ill people."
I have been humbled ok? And I can't really yell any louder that I want to hold value in our society. I will try to do anything ok? (Within morals) Do I prefer it or am I always capable of doing it? No! You know when you hear of people blowing up shit and the news says "oh they were mentally ill...enough said?" Well I think...blah blah blah. And obviously I think...blah blah blah what were they really wanting to say??? I mean not the news casters...like the "mental people" that blow shit up?
I really am so very glad for my blog journey. I've had so many exciting things happen and so many things I've been excited about and so many disappointments as well. I have not blown anything up yet nor intend to...caviat.
And if I didn't think I served a purpose greater than myself...I wouldnt still be here anyway. So cleaning some houses tomorrow but is it my pride? Cause I think I would prove how much I care for humanity down to "saving" the last germ in existence and brush my teeth off a lock down psych toilet bowl? Yeah thats some damn crazy shit to save you all!! Hmm but I wouldn't be humble enough to clean at a hotel? I don't know how much more humbling one could take?
And this again is why I know I do have a damn movie going on else where! The thing of it is I still got to decide as my jaw is moving all around all freaky and the fukn satanic medicine is creeping in me stealing yet another asset of mine! I feel so trapped. I feel so very little options. I feel like the man I love on this plane of existence is a coward? I feel like I shouldn't have to be alone through all this. It's like I am the worst most crazy chick ever and I know there are plenty worse than me as well as sadistic and violent... aggressive, and def not happy most the time. But who am I to sell you my crazy Mr. Fixit 🦊. My buy/sale contingency is based on bank financing...and well strange as it is no one wants to fund visions of the spiritual realm.
I kinda feel like exploding into a billion little itty bitty pieces to make a statement and it's all here in Black Ink...no one could contort the how's or why...and maybe it would not be said "oh she was just mentally ill."
Enough said.
I have been humbled ok? And I can't really yell any louder that I want to hold value in our society. I will try to do anything ok? (Within morals) Do I prefer it or am I always capable of doing it? No! You know when you hear of people blowing up shit and the news says "oh they were mentally ill...enough said?" Well I think...blah blah blah. And obviously I think...blah blah blah what were they really wanting to say??? I mean not the news casters...like the "mental people" that blow shit up?
I really am so very glad for my blog journey. I've had so many exciting things happen and so many things I've been excited about and so many disappointments as well. I have not blown anything up yet nor intend to...caviat.
And if I didn't think I served a purpose greater than myself...I wouldnt still be here anyway. So cleaning some houses tomorrow but is it my pride? Cause I think I would prove how much I care for humanity down to "saving" the last germ in existence and brush my teeth off a lock down psych toilet bowl? Yeah thats some damn crazy shit to save you all!! Hmm but I wouldn't be humble enough to clean at a hotel? I don't know how much more humbling one could take?
And this again is why I know I do have a damn movie going on else where! The thing of it is I still got to decide as my jaw is moving all around all freaky and the fukn satanic medicine is creeping in me stealing yet another asset of mine! I feel so trapped. I feel so very little options. I feel like the man I love on this plane of existence is a coward? I feel like I shouldn't have to be alone through all this. It's like I am the worst most crazy chick ever and I know there are plenty worse than me as well as sadistic and violent... aggressive, and def not happy most the time. But who am I to sell you my crazy Mr. Fixit 🦊. My buy/sale contingency is based on bank financing...and well strange as it is no one wants to fund visions of the spiritual realm.
I kinda feel like exploding into a billion little itty bitty pieces to make a statement and it's all here in Black Ink...no one could contort the how's or why...and maybe it would not be said "oh she was just mentally ill."
Enough said.
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