Take these pills and forget about it. Pretty much solution to my issues for sixteen years. And it worked! I would visit hell about every five years and not talk about it to a soul! Yup it was terrifying and I would snap out of it and go on with the business of life. No therapy process about it and keep it a secret. Guess I am not so secretive anymore!
I think it's interesting what I go through in the least...it's definently a battle that I want to win someday...people like triumph over adversity. Well I do that every day just by keeping breathing...this journey is hard and the answers doctors give me do not satisfy me anymore...they are super vague and guessing at this point. So you see I am sharing my journey with you all...my self discovery journey because if I don't share it I think I would die of isolation. I think having this blog saves my life! And I appreciate the people that follow it whatever your reason may be!
I've decided because I would rather have my fifth laptop that doesn't power my blog over a food supply for the month it must be pretty darn important to me! Nick pretty much ripped my beating heart out of my chest when he took that. I'm sure cyber world is the safest place for me to openly share anyway...at least I can get it off my chest without being off topic or blowing drunks minds with my lunacy. I've just learned there is no venue for explaining myself besides this blog. I have a hard time talking to people about it, but I can write about it in ways I never knew were possible...and it has helped me with the process immensely.
I just don't get close to people the way I used to. It's lonely sure...but I get close and they freak and leave my life so I just choose to keep social activity lighthearted. And sometimes I make the mistake of tellin people too much that don't follow my blog and well I get an earful of advice about trying harder with my program and being more "Christlike." Lmfao! Sorry Jesus we be homies and I pray to you in tongues but my Christianity takes me to spiritual places that look crazy to your people that believe in burning bushes and snakes made out of rods! But that only happened in biblical times and I been to the Garden of Eden and watched evolution in the water...wouldn't it tip the world on its ass if we woke up one day and all the crazy people really are our prophets? Medicate then deaden the shit out of the crazy people so no one believes them and they get confused! Just a concept!
It says in the Bible in the last days spiritual gifts will be rained down. And I don't think I have a chemical imbalance that sends me to hellish dimensions and back. I think there is a little more to this story worth exploring, and I am more than thrilled that you are choosing to be part of my journey! Your readership really honestly puts the beat in my step and makes me want to keep striving for understanding! Thank you!
I think it's interesting what I go through in the least...it's definently a battle that I want to win someday...people like triumph over adversity. Well I do that every day just by keeping breathing...this journey is hard and the answers doctors give me do not satisfy me anymore...they are super vague and guessing at this point. So you see I am sharing my journey with you all...my self discovery journey because if I don't share it I think I would die of isolation. I think having this blog saves my life! And I appreciate the people that follow it whatever your reason may be!
I've decided because I would rather have my fifth laptop that doesn't power my blog over a food supply for the month it must be pretty darn important to me! Nick pretty much ripped my beating heart out of my chest when he took that. I'm sure cyber world is the safest place for me to openly share anyway...at least I can get it off my chest without being off topic or blowing drunks minds with my lunacy. I've just learned there is no venue for explaining myself besides this blog. I have a hard time talking to people about it, but I can write about it in ways I never knew were possible...and it has helped me with the process immensely.
I just don't get close to people the way I used to. It's lonely sure...but I get close and they freak and leave my life so I just choose to keep social activity lighthearted. And sometimes I make the mistake of tellin people too much that don't follow my blog and well I get an earful of advice about trying harder with my program and being more "Christlike." Lmfao! Sorry Jesus we be homies and I pray to you in tongues but my Christianity takes me to spiritual places that look crazy to your people that believe in burning bushes and snakes made out of rods! But that only happened in biblical times and I been to the Garden of Eden and watched evolution in the water...wouldn't it tip the world on its ass if we woke up one day and all the crazy people really are our prophets? Medicate then deaden the shit out of the crazy people so no one believes them and they get confused! Just a concept!
It says in the Bible in the last days spiritual gifts will be rained down. And I don't think I have a chemical imbalance that sends me to hellish dimensions and back. I think there is a little more to this story worth exploring, and I am more than thrilled that you are choosing to be part of my journey! Your readership really honestly puts the beat in my step and makes me want to keep striving for understanding! Thank you!
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