Well I was remembering something said to me by my ex during our divorce...he said I was "no woman" and he pointed out that I didn't like to cook or garden as the reason...even though I had been running circles around him working for the city. Totally thought I had proven the shit out of myself...but nope if you can't cook or garden then you're worthless. Whatever. Cause as tonight as I was hoisting a paraplegic into bed I thought of my last couple jobs and I think I am pretty well rounded in all the things I have proven I can do!
I worked at a greenhouse for two years...that's gardening bitch! I also worked at an assisted living
and cooked and served dinner to nine people every shift. Let's see...I can write professional grade business plans and coordinate large scale events that help 400 people in one day. I can make a Starbucks coffee drink. I've worked at a gas station as a cashier. I've been a waitress, though I hate the calamity. I scrub toilets as well as sell people houses! I can pass just about any test I am given with flying colors...I write books...I write for college newspapers. I push hospital gurneys to attain ultrasound school training. I can help stick a needle in amniotic fluid. I've been a popcorn girl and worked at Hastings as a cashier. I've worked in the mall couple places...I've worked at Ross Dress for less as a cashier which is hell. Plus 7 years of college and don't forget Target cashier! I can do a lot of shit really!
Some bitch on fb was harping on me to go work at McDonalds. Well I wouldn't last a day, and it's non of her business. Jeering on me for living off the government. She obviously doesn't know my whole story that's really mean! I get pretty resentful when people call me lazy, worthless or that I don't try hard enough. Straight fuk off! I am seriously dealing with some heavy shit, right? I've been trying for years for jobs that I think I can do and my resume is so fuking shot they don't even interview me! Rough crowd! And besides some people that see the things I go through first hand don't really think I should stress about having a job and just find a way to live off the disability. But I don't like that because I am a rich woman in a poor persons body! Pretty sure of it!
I was thinking that maybe my next step is a manly job! Lol anybody need a brick layer? I bet I could do that. I say that to be funny because Adam is a mason and I know he hires people to help him and he helped this situation along so...I think he needs a marketing coordinator anyway...a promoter. And guess who has these talents? Yep, Jill. Jill would probably give Adam other benefits as his promoter...just sayin, lol! This reminds me of in my book where I was all gonna be his pimp and sell him out to lonely women..."give this man six weeks of your time and he will take you to heaven, lol!" I wonder if that was just my take and what I needed at the time? I wonder if he is a slut and sleeps with trashy women? Well in the least he should charge. Yep I would promote the shit out of that man! And I have been for years anyway! He should pay me. We should pay each other with pleasure. LOL.
On that same note I've thought of becoming a hooker...not for real mom so don't freak. But sober you realize how to do it and also sober I realize I don't want to do it with just anybody. At least I have not been tempted to be with a lot of dudes without my liquid courage I hear of girls that do tallies on dating sites. That makes my PTSD scream. But I do have dudes that hit me up on FB or texting that don't have a clue about what I am about. For years this one dude randomly wakes me up with "hey sexy." Another is like texting me daily saying beautiful and cutie in every text...annoying. So I am aware that they only want one thing from me and so what if I charged for my services? People do a lot of things they don't want to do for money! And recently I was told by a man on fb that I would give any man a boner, so it seems that is what all my effort in education is leaning towards! Lol, I kid.
The job tonight is demanding mentally, physically and emotionally. But brainless because he lays there and tells you every little thing to do in order. It takes us two hours to put him to bed.. It has nothing to do with my potential or skills at this point...but I will get buff if I do it every night because he is huge and you have to roll him over and hold his legs or stretches. The cholostomy cleaning is beyond my pay grade but I am proud of myself for not gagging on the smell and holding my opinion about the shit he can't help. At least he is giving me a job. I knew him from when I worked for the city.
It's tough being so different than I used to be and not having good references and all the accolades. I'm trying to come to terms with it. My business plan is very good I am told but now I am just like let's see what the future holds and if I see snakes in my hair again. It is rough this get back up get knocked down thing. I'm pretty fricken strong to keep getting back up.
Yay! I am going to be a model tomorrow night under the Milky Way for a photo shoot. I answered an ad on fb and we are gonna stay under the stars all night and take pictures. I bought this sexy short black dress and I am borrowing the snake skin cowgirl boots! Get the snake theme? Lol.
I will also be working on my bipolar magazine article tomorrow! Busy busy! Take care ya all!
I worked at a greenhouse for two years...that's gardening bitch! I also worked at an assisted living
and cooked and served dinner to nine people every shift. Let's see...I can write professional grade business plans and coordinate large scale events that help 400 people in one day. I can make a Starbucks coffee drink. I've worked at a gas station as a cashier. I've been a waitress, though I hate the calamity. I scrub toilets as well as sell people houses! I can pass just about any test I am given with flying colors...I write books...I write for college newspapers. I push hospital gurneys to attain ultrasound school training. I can help stick a needle in amniotic fluid. I've been a popcorn girl and worked at Hastings as a cashier. I've worked in the mall couple places...I've worked at Ross Dress for less as a cashier which is hell. Plus 7 years of college and don't forget Target cashier! I can do a lot of shit really!
Some bitch on fb was harping on me to go work at McDonalds. Well I wouldn't last a day, and it's non of her business. Jeering on me for living off the government. She obviously doesn't know my whole story that's really mean! I get pretty resentful when people call me lazy, worthless or that I don't try hard enough. Straight fuk off! I am seriously dealing with some heavy shit, right? I've been trying for years for jobs that I think I can do and my resume is so fuking shot they don't even interview me! Rough crowd! And besides some people that see the things I go through first hand don't really think I should stress about having a job and just find a way to live off the disability. But I don't like that because I am a rich woman in a poor persons body! Pretty sure of it!
I was thinking that maybe my next step is a manly job! Lol anybody need a brick layer? I bet I could do that. I say that to be funny because Adam is a mason and I know he hires people to help him and he helped this situation along so...I think he needs a marketing coordinator anyway...a promoter. And guess who has these talents? Yep, Jill. Jill would probably give Adam other benefits as his promoter...just sayin, lol! This reminds me of in my book where I was all gonna be his pimp and sell him out to lonely women..."give this man six weeks of your time and he will take you to heaven, lol!" I wonder if that was just my take and what I needed at the time? I wonder if he is a slut and sleeps with trashy women? Well in the least he should charge. Yep I would promote the shit out of that man! And I have been for years anyway! He should pay me. We should pay each other with pleasure. LOL.
On that same note I've thought of becoming a hooker...not for real mom so don't freak. But sober you realize how to do it and also sober I realize I don't want to do it with just anybody. At least I have not been tempted to be with a lot of dudes without my liquid courage I hear of girls that do tallies on dating sites. That makes my PTSD scream. But I do have dudes that hit me up on FB or texting that don't have a clue about what I am about. For years this one dude randomly wakes me up with "hey sexy." Another is like texting me daily saying beautiful and cutie in every text...annoying. So I am aware that they only want one thing from me and so what if I charged for my services? People do a lot of things they don't want to do for money! And recently I was told by a man on fb that I would give any man a boner, so it seems that is what all my effort in education is leaning towards! Lol, I kid.
The job tonight is demanding mentally, physically and emotionally. But brainless because he lays there and tells you every little thing to do in order. It takes us two hours to put him to bed.. It has nothing to do with my potential or skills at this point...but I will get buff if I do it every night because he is huge and you have to roll him over and hold his legs or stretches. The cholostomy cleaning is beyond my pay grade but I am proud of myself for not gagging on the smell and holding my opinion about the shit he can't help. At least he is giving me a job. I knew him from when I worked for the city.
It's tough being so different than I used to be and not having good references and all the accolades. I'm trying to come to terms with it. My business plan is very good I am told but now I am just like let's see what the future holds and if I see snakes in my hair again. It is rough this get back up get knocked down thing. I'm pretty fricken strong to keep getting back up.
Yay! I am going to be a model tomorrow night under the Milky Way for a photo shoot. I answered an ad on fb and we are gonna stay under the stars all night and take pictures. I bought this sexy short black dress and I am borrowing the snake skin cowgirl boots! Get the snake theme? Lol.
I will also be working on my bipolar magazine article tomorrow! Busy busy! Take care ya all!
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