So I guess I didn't have that job anyway. I am about done sick of my felony status. Every angle I take it slaps me in the face. And I am like I got a felony for texting a dude. What a joke for real. Like seriously making a mountain out of my "crazy" molehill. I don't even really know how they can do such serious consequences for texting somebody?
Like I have said its supposed to be a fine of like $400. I know it all made me tougher and helped my sobriety but like fukn for real two years in a treatment court? I don't know if Adam thought I bout to murder him in 2013, but he sure did make a big deal about me going crazy. I've always wondered about that. Like I was hospitalized twice that summer and everyone knew I done lost it...and I leaned into Adam hard...well because I was in love with him. Can I help the way I felt and then thinking he was my soul mate in heaven? Its just what happened. It shouldn't of been made such a big deal of. I don't know how many women I have talked to say they been way worse than that.
I just wonder why he wouldn't have even the tiniest fraction of a heart for me. But I also know that the way things happened made me a million times stronger person, so maybe that is what he was after for me. I don't really know. He was always talking about how boot camp helped him.
I guess its really made me have empathy for felons. Like what in the actual fuk kind of system are we in? I have three degrees and I can't get a decent job. I had a awesome resume too. I volunteered for the city and had a great reputation. I guess it boils down to my behavior when I am crazy too. I guess I need to own that...even though I don't understand it. So these people with felonies what choice do they have other than to keep committing crime and doing drugs? Its a catch 22.
Its like yes I am in this body but I do so many things out of my character. People don't believe me when I say I beat up that cabbie. I'd never felt so strong and it was like I knew how to do it for the first time in my life. Thank God he is not pressing charges...or I would be in a world of hurt.
I want to help other felons. Not just felons but all the people on the edge of society. Even Adam, lol. It is an epidemic...I am part of the epidemic but I am educated in all the right places to make something great happen in our town. I shared my business plan with everyone in psych and they thought it was really good idea. One guy who I really respect said I blew him out of the water with my concept. I've tried to put it on my blog but for some reason it doesn't want to format and I don't want anyone stealing it from me so...
I've possibly got a lawyer out of Bozeman...so that's looking up~!
Like I have said its supposed to be a fine of like $400. I know it all made me tougher and helped my sobriety but like fukn for real two years in a treatment court? I don't know if Adam thought I bout to murder him in 2013, but he sure did make a big deal about me going crazy. I've always wondered about that. Like I was hospitalized twice that summer and everyone knew I done lost it...and I leaned into Adam hard...well because I was in love with him. Can I help the way I felt and then thinking he was my soul mate in heaven? Its just what happened. It shouldn't of been made such a big deal of. I don't know how many women I have talked to say they been way worse than that.
I just wonder why he wouldn't have even the tiniest fraction of a heart for me. But I also know that the way things happened made me a million times stronger person, so maybe that is what he was after for me. I don't really know. He was always talking about how boot camp helped him.
I guess its really made me have empathy for felons. Like what in the actual fuk kind of system are we in? I have three degrees and I can't get a decent job. I had a awesome resume too. I volunteered for the city and had a great reputation. I guess it boils down to my behavior when I am crazy too. I guess I need to own that...even though I don't understand it. So these people with felonies what choice do they have other than to keep committing crime and doing drugs? Its a catch 22.
Its like yes I am in this body but I do so many things out of my character. People don't believe me when I say I beat up that cabbie. I'd never felt so strong and it was like I knew how to do it for the first time in my life. Thank God he is not pressing charges...or I would be in a world of hurt.
I want to help other felons. Not just felons but all the people on the edge of society. Even Adam, lol. It is an epidemic...I am part of the epidemic but I am educated in all the right places to make something great happen in our town. I shared my business plan with everyone in psych and they thought it was really good idea. One guy who I really respect said I blew him out of the water with my concept. I've tried to put it on my blog but for some reason it doesn't want to format and I don't want anyone stealing it from me so...
I've possibly got a lawyer out of Bozeman...so that's looking up~!
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