So I've got quite the various background of academic and career oriented goal attaining. So yes I had a Real Estate license for three years that Voc Rehab helped me get after a psychosis, while I was pregnant, and during my divorce, because I was on disability then (2011). The test was easy and it was a week long course...why not? They bought me a laptop and a camera. And let me on my way. I tried for a year (while drinking still) and I made $600 which went directly back to my office for fees. That was another thing so many little hidden fees??? And I had no dual income...just disability.
Well you cannot make it in Real Estate unless you have money to market yourself. I had thought from all the people I knew from the city that I would sure be successful, but I think I veered way to far off, from what they all praised me for which was organizing a large scale one day event called Project Homeless Connect, and making an impact on the community. I think it was just too much of a jump out their arena. And I never "seen" them again, lol!
So that didn't work out, but my laptop has been worth its weight in GOLD. Still humming right along five years later!!! I'm always little afraid someone's gonna steal it. I am not afraid of someone "assasinating me, but I am afraid for my work. I sometimes go as far as to think I am in the middle of some sort of "world conspiracy" and I have important information on here. But that's just my illness talking and that hasn't been for a long time!
I am glad to know a little about real estate...shit I know a little about all the sectors. I know enough about the body and medical field to hate that machine! Pharmaceuticals have destroyed my body! There was a point though that I could have been a medical doctor because ultrasound techs are like detectives in there "live scanning" humans. Its not like snapping a x-ray...it is operator dependent.
That's why it was hard on me...because I knew all the answers in the books upside down and sideways...all the techniques....everything about the body there was to know and for what exams...the physics...etc. And then I would get a pregnant woman and the baby would look like a jumbled up mess on the screen. And if I just would have admitted "I can't do fetal surveys." Then maybe I wouldn't have been fired for measuring the humerus instead of the femur. I am pretty sure they may have found use with me for all the other ultrasound exams I knew how to do. But I took all that for granted and was drinking then too. Its a shame because there is a 200 question test I could have easily passed back then...but who gets pissed off and say fuk this shit for good I will go work at the GAP and get pregnant! Yeah I can stock merchandise too! My classmates told me it took them years to be comfortable with their jobs! I am a doucher, but I knew all about the body...and now I don't. Unfortunate biggest regret of my life.
I guess I don't really need to prove myself to my readers, because I know that I would be good at organizing a recovery business. Even my lack of common sense doesn't really bother me with something my smarts will out measure. I have so many good ideas and they just keep coming and coming! I must have edited my last blog like ten times! And I guess this is my calling because all my shit was really messed up by drinking before. And I don't give it the opportunity any more! What a concept! And I so want to use my positive energy to help people. Almost to the end of our relationship Dragon says to me...you never finished anything so stop bragging about it. And I am like what? I finished three degrees! And I finished VISTA service and I finished my real estate license...etc. So maybe that is something missing in me? Seeing things all the way through? I have the visions? I do the work...I get the goal and then I let go??? I don't know and I hope I have found the right niche' with this idea. It kind of incorporates all of me. The good, the bad and the ugly! I figure if it doesn't go my way that I had a great fricken idea, and they just want to keep it the way it all is, and leave me in felony land...in that case I will just keep writing...and I won't be all mad at God or anything.
It is kinda hard not having a phone to text people. I get lonely and I do reach out to people if I don't go to a meeting or something. Its been kind of nice in a way though, different for sure. I just need a boyfriend lol. Not really. I recognized I was stuck codependent with Dragon for an extra year and my blog was about him mostly...and the ups and downs and the bullshit of illness. And look in just a few months where I have traveled with it. A mission...a vision. Mental Health Reform. A fricken purpose besides trying to make him happy, and wondering if he was gonna pay attention to me that day or not. It was awful like that for a year almost! That's terrible drama! I am worth more than that and its a relief to be single. Kinda. Kinda missing one little aspect, lol. But I haven't thought of him much at all. So that's nice. I don't think I would ever go back to him, even if he asked which I doubt he would. Dunno. Want "Heroin"...but I am sober, alas, and I don't get heroin.
Let's just put the "needle on the record," and not in the vein tonight...and I have no cigs. But I do have Nicorette! YAY! And I went down town to look at space. It was too dark already and I will wait til I have an agent. There is my hopeless optimism right there! I am full of it. Gonna be a writer with no money forever...lol.
Goodnight!
Well you cannot make it in Real Estate unless you have money to market yourself. I had thought from all the people I knew from the city that I would sure be successful, but I think I veered way to far off, from what they all praised me for which was organizing a large scale one day event called Project Homeless Connect, and making an impact on the community. I think it was just too much of a jump out their arena. And I never "seen" them again, lol!
So that didn't work out, but my laptop has been worth its weight in GOLD. Still humming right along five years later!!! I'm always little afraid someone's gonna steal it. I am not afraid of someone "assasinating me, but I am afraid for my work. I sometimes go as far as to think I am in the middle of some sort of "world conspiracy" and I have important information on here. But that's just my illness talking and that hasn't been for a long time!
I am glad to know a little about real estate...shit I know a little about all the sectors. I know enough about the body and medical field to hate that machine! Pharmaceuticals have destroyed my body! There was a point though that I could have been a medical doctor because ultrasound techs are like detectives in there "live scanning" humans. Its not like snapping a x-ray...it is operator dependent.
That's why it was hard on me...because I knew all the answers in the books upside down and sideways...all the techniques....everything about the body there was to know and for what exams...the physics...etc. And then I would get a pregnant woman and the baby would look like a jumbled up mess on the screen. And if I just would have admitted "I can't do fetal surveys." Then maybe I wouldn't have been fired for measuring the humerus instead of the femur. I am pretty sure they may have found use with me for all the other ultrasound exams I knew how to do. But I took all that for granted and was drinking then too. Its a shame because there is a 200 question test I could have easily passed back then...but who gets pissed off and say fuk this shit for good I will go work at the GAP and get pregnant! Yeah I can stock merchandise too! My classmates told me it took them years to be comfortable with their jobs! I am a doucher, but I knew all about the body...and now I don't. Unfortunate biggest regret of my life.
I guess I don't really need to prove myself to my readers, because I know that I would be good at organizing a recovery business. Even my lack of common sense doesn't really bother me with something my smarts will out measure. I have so many good ideas and they just keep coming and coming! I must have edited my last blog like ten times! And I guess this is my calling because all my shit was really messed up by drinking before. And I don't give it the opportunity any more! What a concept! And I so want to use my positive energy to help people. Almost to the end of our relationship Dragon says to me...you never finished anything so stop bragging about it. And I am like what? I finished three degrees! And I finished VISTA service and I finished my real estate license...etc. So maybe that is something missing in me? Seeing things all the way through? I have the visions? I do the work...I get the goal and then I let go??? I don't know and I hope I have found the right niche' with this idea. It kind of incorporates all of me. The good, the bad and the ugly! I figure if it doesn't go my way that I had a great fricken idea, and they just want to keep it the way it all is, and leave me in felony land...in that case I will just keep writing...and I won't be all mad at God or anything.
It is kinda hard not having a phone to text people. I get lonely and I do reach out to people if I don't go to a meeting or something. Its been kind of nice in a way though, different for sure. I just need a boyfriend lol. Not really. I recognized I was stuck codependent with Dragon for an extra year and my blog was about him mostly...and the ups and downs and the bullshit of illness. And look in just a few months where I have traveled with it. A mission...a vision. Mental Health Reform. A fricken purpose besides trying to make him happy, and wondering if he was gonna pay attention to me that day or not. It was awful like that for a year almost! That's terrible drama! I am worth more than that and its a relief to be single. Kinda. Kinda missing one little aspect, lol. But I haven't thought of him much at all. So that's nice. I don't think I would ever go back to him, even if he asked which I doubt he would. Dunno. Want "Heroin"...but I am sober, alas, and I don't get heroin.
Let's just put the "needle on the record," and not in the vein tonight...and I have no cigs. But I do have Nicorette! YAY! And I went down town to look at space. It was too dark already and I will wait til I have an agent. There is my hopeless optimism right there! I am full of it. Gonna be a writer with no money forever...lol.
Goodnight!
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