Superficial

What would I give to be superficial?
Something more palatable then this dangerous affection.
Someone more plain?
Someone not so brave with less of a heart?
What to wear today?
What shade of lipstick will make me pretty?
Should I brush my hair or say fuk it?
I'm not gonna clean my house...fuk it, gonna write.
Not a care in the world except I wanna buy something.
Something to fill the void.
That perfume no one will smell.
Or at least not the one I want to smell it.
I have a cat.
I need more...a cat lady/
Alone dreaming of dreamcycles.
But I wouldn't dream so much if I were superficial.
How fat does my ass look?
I should be at the gym right now...fuk it.
I should be making money right now, lots of it.
To buy that perfume and lipstick,
and the things he won't see.
To impress him with all my capability.
But for show...just for show.
Because I really ain't shit.
Layers of makeup and don't cry it off.
Standards.  Fukn standards.
This poem is pathetic cause I really can't think superficial.
Because I don't know what its like.
Just dammit.
Fuk it better go to the gym.
And if anyone asks I am busy.
Ben Affleck is in recovery now
And I am just gonna love him instead.

Amen.