Spiritual Journey

I have often thought isn't it funny in our society that if people take drugs to trip and they have these amazing spiritual experiences it is deemed cool. I've never done hallucinogens, but I do trip lol.  And I feel stigma.

I wonder if there is places other than Billings Montana that exists in this world? Places and people that would say wow that's real fukn cool what happens to you?  At least I thought heaven was pretty cool. Being damned in hell is pretty scary. But regardless I am in another realm of existence. Expanded mind. Far out dude!

I'm not really into the stigma of it.  This lady in the program said to me that I could have killed Adam...And I was like no I more likely would have taken off all my clothes and danced with the butterflies that were swirling around my head. Way fukn magical! I have never been so happy as in heaven.  I was at one with the universe!  There was nothing sick in the world it was all just beautiful.  And I was whole and healed and the bad things that had happened in my life weren't part of me anymore.  I was the most sought after princess and I had millions of dollars in my bank account. Yes I even hallucinated my bank account!  Omg that was the best trip ever!

When the cops came to get me I literally put on an act because I thought​ I was on the show cops...Because in my mind everyone was watching my every move.  I do not understand why I always think I am so important?  Like I hold some key in me to everyone crossing over safely.

So I am medicated. I was medicated then too if it makes ya all feel better, lol.  I wish I knew the reason for my trips...Feels like something important. But here I am normal as can be looking around at people like they are really boring and I am superior.  I am humbled yes...And I love people...But I am just like if they only knew what else was out there? Like I know alot more than I am supposed to...And I no longer think my experiences make me a sick person...I think they make me a gifted person!
I don't think I belong in Billings, Montana. I'm no soccer mom.  I think I belong on planet Crypton. Haha.  There's no where I belong...This place is not my home.  I will belong when I finally get to heaven...For real.

And there won't be any crash back into the world of Flatt.  If you think a good trip is good then coming out and realizing it wasn't real sucks and oh by the way you are criminal now! Oh you mean I really wasn't talking to my soul mate? For the love of all that is holy the restraining order didn't exist in heaven!

And that is not drug induced enlightenment people! The real God given deal!!!  You should see what I was writing during that time! EVERYTHING lined up for me! And it was all about Adam being my soul mate.  That shit is hard to shake.  What a trip!

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