Exhausting

Damn and this is gonna be a rant! I'd like to break something or put my fist through a wall but I don't do that.  I'd like to throw something...But I don't do that either.  What I do do is write.  I write fricken books to dudes that don't give a fuk.  How awesomely strange of me!  I always knew I felt deeper connections to people than they do to me.  It's super oddly fukn fantastic to go so far out on a limb for someone! Say you mean this much to me! And it's just creepy!!!  I am so unbelievably frustrated that I have created a monster in my life! And he's got his jagged teeth all up on my neck and is sucking my will to survive right out of me!  I really need relief!  I am haunted and nothing compares and it's delusional and sick. And I call it romance!  Well if it was all that romantic I wouldnt sleep alone every night!  If it was truly romantic it wouldn't all be made up in my head.  This is fricken sad.  I am sad.  I don't even know how I come up with my bullshit lovey poems!!!  Where does this shit come from really? A fukn captain of my heart? Get real! This is the real world sister and people are cruel and don't give a fuk! Stupid fricken waste of time believing in love!  It's the ultimate lie for me!  I'm sick of it!  Everyone tells me I should hate him and maybe I should take their advice!  Why can't I wrap my fukt up little brain around that?  I want to stop believing my fairytale.  Just smash it to pieces and burn the books and just forget all this! I want to stop believing...I want my heart to smash in a million pieces and fukn get it over with!  Love does not win. Not for this girl...I'm to fukn crazy for love. Fukn get on with it already.  How awfully embarrassing to care that much about another person?  Who the fuck does that?

Only cray cray ladies with too much passion for their own good.  My love poems rock and I am turning them into a book.  Thank you. Goodnight. I feel better.