I came across on old diary. This was written in 1999. I was 20.
"My words in perfect version come to mind then float away before I can write them, as if they were never there. The beauty of a flawless account of details haunt me, until what is written becomes a daunting trace of the ability within my mind."
July 29, 1999
This happens all the time, a certain song comes to mind.
Stop dragging my heart around...
when he calls my feet lift the ground.
I presume that he's actually into me....
and I am off on some fukn fantasy.
Why do I fall so hard every time...
he's just another guy that makes me feel high.
When I don't get a call, I feel its all a lie.
I don't understand the guy.
WHY WHY WHY?
Do I wait?
Its getting late, and all this girl wanted was a simple date.
Dinner a movie, or even just to hang with his crew.
Why do I put faith in you?
Stop.
No more!
I pick my heart up off the floor.
And once again shut the door.
No More.
Hoping and wishing for something sweet.
And you aren't the one, I will press deleat.
I am familiar with that key,
cuz it seems its never meant to be for me.
Reality check on the simplicity of the situation,
You weren't my man just some minor complication.
Five phone calls away...I'd hope we'd last another day.
All I want is someone to be there , to care, to share for more than a night.
Is that too much to ask for a girl like me?
Am I all wrong?
Am I doomed to misery?
Stop.
Wait.
I decide my own fate.
Not you.
Not your voice.
Every direction is my choice.
I'm not all wrong.
I am right....
and soon enough it will be my night.
You're another lesson learned, another drop in the bucket...
and if you don't call, whatever...fucket.
I created a picture of you in the future.
I idealized the thought of you as my man.
And once again felt the crush of my can.
A can so fragile and so tired...
but filled with hopes dreams and desires.
It will fill again and I will heal again...
and I will win again and I will sin again.
But not for you or just any man,
someone who wants to know me for all that I am.
I will wait,
but not just for a call.
I want it real.
And I want it all.
WOW! Age 20 and I don't even remember who I wrote that about! There seems to be a pattern! This could actually be about Dragon at age 38! Damn!
"My words in perfect version come to mind then float away before I can write them, as if they were never there. The beauty of a flawless account of details haunt me, until what is written becomes a daunting trace of the ability within my mind."
July 29, 1999
This happens all the time, a certain song comes to mind.
Stop dragging my heart around...
when he calls my feet lift the ground.
I presume that he's actually into me....
and I am off on some fukn fantasy.
Why do I fall so hard every time...
he's just another guy that makes me feel high.
When I don't get a call, I feel its all a lie.
I don't understand the guy.
WHY WHY WHY?
Do I wait?
Its getting late, and all this girl wanted was a simple date.
Dinner a movie, or even just to hang with his crew.
Why do I put faith in you?
Stop.
No more!
I pick my heart up off the floor.
And once again shut the door.
No More.
Hoping and wishing for something sweet.
And you aren't the one, I will press deleat.
I am familiar with that key,
cuz it seems its never meant to be for me.
Reality check on the simplicity of the situation,
You weren't my man just some minor complication.
Five phone calls away...I'd hope we'd last another day.
All I want is someone to be there , to care, to share for more than a night.
Is that too much to ask for a girl like me?
Am I all wrong?
Am I doomed to misery?
Stop.
Wait.
I decide my own fate.
Not you.
Not your voice.
Every direction is my choice.
I'm not all wrong.
I am right....
and soon enough it will be my night.
You're another lesson learned, another drop in the bucket...
and if you don't call, whatever...fucket.
I created a picture of you in the future.
I idealized the thought of you as my man.
And once again felt the crush of my can.
A can so fragile and so tired...
but filled with hopes dreams and desires.
It will fill again and I will heal again...
and I will win again and I will sin again.
But not for you or just any man,
someone who wants to know me for all that I am.
I will wait,
but not just for a call.
I want it real.
And I want it all.
WOW! Age 20 and I don't even remember who I wrote that about! There seems to be a pattern! This could actually be about Dragon at age 38! Damn!
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