Did you know Bella Swan, my fangs came out? I don't want to rival Twilight saga...but I just do. Yes folks, you will be speechless about what I went through supernaturally...spiritually...and you will say damn! I mean damn son, you fulfilled some type of prophecy! And I still don't know how or why? I am just waiting to float in the air Matrix style anyday now!!!
Talk about psychological thriller making up a story in my head since 1996...and becoming all real and shit in the past three years. I went from hell to heaven in my mind....the things I have seen will shock and astound you. I don't even know how I survived or why I am all normal now? Like how am I not perma cray cray? Cuz I am back to pretty much average non lunatic status? Does this mean I am healed? Miraculously healed? And what was the reason I could hear two worlds for that long?
God blessed sobriety holy batman balls He did! Have I told you lately I am tough as nails? Know what I am made of? A brain this size needs a level ego though and I think it is is coming through! "Mental" illness is a challenge, but it does make my life interesting and worth writing about! Thank You God for my adventurous life...and for me to able to feel my own skin and not be shy about it.
Thank You for giving me so many opportunities right now that it makes all the suffering worth it.
I feel so taken care of by You, God! I feel protected and blessed and so excited for whatever lies ahead, because you have taught me to trust you above all...and you kept me for years now striving for what was just right around the corner every time, and that has shaped me beautiful and made me stronger, because most times it was never there. And somehow hit after hit after hit you kept me going and it is so worth it! You overwhelm me!!!
And I am here...and able to be a mother and have this whole world of opportunity laid out before me. Staying sober through this whole process is You...not me. Praise You Abba Father!!! I love You Lord and I lift my hands and heart to you eternally.
One world I see is sick. The other is not. So here I am waiting on my Father to see what He would have me do. When it is the time for answers the questions won't matter, and losing Faith won't happen again...
Talk about psychological thriller making up a story in my head since 1996...and becoming all real and shit in the past three years. I went from hell to heaven in my mind....the things I have seen will shock and astound you. I don't even know how I survived or why I am all normal now? Like how am I not perma cray cray? Cuz I am back to pretty much average non lunatic status? Does this mean I am healed? Miraculously healed? And what was the reason I could hear two worlds for that long?
God blessed sobriety holy batman balls He did! Have I told you lately I am tough as nails? Know what I am made of? A brain this size needs a level ego though and I think it is is coming through! "Mental" illness is a challenge, but it does make my life interesting and worth writing about! Thank You God for my adventurous life...and for me to able to feel my own skin and not be shy about it.
Thank You for giving me so many opportunities right now that it makes all the suffering worth it.
I feel so taken care of by You, God! I feel protected and blessed and so excited for whatever lies ahead, because you have taught me to trust you above all...and you kept me for years now striving for what was just right around the corner every time, and that has shaped me beautiful and made me stronger, because most times it was never there. And somehow hit after hit after hit you kept me going and it is so worth it! You overwhelm me!!!
And I am here...and able to be a mother and have this whole world of opportunity laid out before me. Staying sober through this whole process is You...not me. Praise You Abba Father!!! I love You Lord and I lift my hands and heart to you eternally.
One world I see is sick. The other is not. So here I am waiting on my Father to see what He would have me do. When it is the time for answers the questions won't matter, and losing Faith won't happen again...