B Rated...Missing Character

Oh you silver spoon,
does this excite you?
Don't know how to tale you,
Something so variant is missing.
Surprised to celebrate this day.
Two years its been since...
And nada, nothing lives up to
this character, this match made
in writing. Written for him,
dont know how I miss what only...
my mind has made.
But here it is empty and so
Dissapointed.
I see what you mean B rated.
Low budget.  So missing the
depth of it all, and yet so safe.
Choices, I guess...of love...
of aloneness or of spent time
and with whom?
Imagine just drifting into the story...
and oh would if I could.
But full time mommy now,
and its got to stay grounded.
If want would want what I wanted,
there would be a way to finish what
was started.
So see and saw, back and forth...
the hmmmmmmmm....it goes around.
And here I sit, sad heart, lost
with disreguard, and wanting
something imagined, more than real.
This one of flesh, not right for me.
So I settle?
So I sleep?
So I selfishly keep?
Keep not.
Sleep not.
Settle I, not to keep.
B rated, lip sync into silence.
Character questions me,
Lacking.
Would you keep me safe?