Thats all I need right now...me me me, more me. So the one person I was spending my time with is exnayed from my life for at least 90 days. Does it make sense that felony probaitoners would take away my boyfriend? Hmmmmm lets see...woman obsessed with a man for two years is finally trying to move on...at least attempting to let someone else into her life. Woman's favorite hobbies are writing about said obsession and working out to look good for obsession, which is all really based on a non reality man. Boyfriend thing was going well, was in the least in reality accepted, and felt loved on, and "adorable" to boyfriend.
At this same time my kids are moving an hour and half away. These are some pretty hellacious changes going on. What am I gonna do? I have been wanting to work on my second book, but just yesterday I was telling my boyfriend it might be unhealthy to write my second book right now and I shouldnt focus on it, just yet because its some serious spun out fantasy...and the next day they say you cant associate with your boyfriend, or you will both go to jail (he is a dui felon). Well I guess maybe its an answer to prayers on what I am supposed to focus on right now, which is I guess still two years post break up with Adam, still not a relationship with another man. I was praying about that quite a bit. And I do know that I was having some serious barriers to anything serious right now, anyway. But wasnt it just nice to get out of my head and spend time with a guy, yes, yes it was nice. And he didnt mind I am crazy sometimes...he said when you can admit it, it makes it less scary. We did have alot of fun. But I dont know what three months apart looks like for us. We never fought once in three months. Lonzo said thats marriage material right there, haha! He and Aunna cant seem to work it out. But getting along perfectly, lots of laughter etc. for three months was a special kind of relief for me during all this.
I have a huge sense of loss on this, but I am going to trust God...my kids are here right now,I need to enjoy them. I dont know when their move is taking place. Gosh I think I have more fear about the future tonight than I have through any of this. I am very much visualizing how much I will be alone this winter...
At this same time my kids are moving an hour and half away. These are some pretty hellacious changes going on. What am I gonna do? I have been wanting to work on my second book, but just yesterday I was telling my boyfriend it might be unhealthy to write my second book right now and I shouldnt focus on it, just yet because its some serious spun out fantasy...and the next day they say you cant associate with your boyfriend, or you will both go to jail (he is a dui felon). Well I guess maybe its an answer to prayers on what I am supposed to focus on right now, which is I guess still two years post break up with Adam, still not a relationship with another man. I was praying about that quite a bit. And I do know that I was having some serious barriers to anything serious right now, anyway. But wasnt it just nice to get out of my head and spend time with a guy, yes, yes it was nice. And he didnt mind I am crazy sometimes...he said when you can admit it, it makes it less scary. We did have alot of fun. But I dont know what three months apart looks like for us. We never fought once in three months. Lonzo said thats marriage material right there, haha! He and Aunna cant seem to work it out. But getting along perfectly, lots of laughter etc. for three months was a special kind of relief for me during all this.
I have a huge sense of loss on this, but I am going to trust God...my kids are here right now,I need to enjoy them. I dont know when their move is taking place. Gosh I think I have more fear about the future tonight than I have through any of this. I am very much visualizing how much I will be alone this winter...
Comments