Or quite obviously I might say. Over the weekend my severe headache and nausea turned into chest pain, blue lips and shortness of breath. I had called and told the nurses at my doctors office of my reaction pre chest pain and they said keep taking it. I stopped taking La tuda yesterday and called them this morning. So depressing was the thought of being murdered by a drug after all I have been through. I havnt had any energy for about two weeks and that is a downer for me too.
I am still psychotic in my sleep and nightmares, but when awake dont fight any weird thoughts. The la tuda was for bipolar depression. I think what gets you out of a psychosis is rest. What makes your brain design a whole other world and run with it and never shut down is not sleeping. My head would never shut down. I think druggies induce this state and like it. I am not so into it and dont choose it. Going without sleep to induce enlightenment is something i think Buddhists did. Yes i like the things i see in heaven, but when the whole story flipped and I was evil, thanks I would rather not.
Also when you are in it, you dont know that its not real. I am pretty sure thats why people consider me dangerous, and thats tough for me to feel. I have always had the need to be liked, and well people just do not dig it. Talk about a sober introduction to your own skin. And its never been so bad before. Like i have said two weeks, then i get better for five years and its like nothing happened.
Not this time. I caused a stir! I want to be an activist and ive been asking God for a good five year stretch...if I dont get my stretch and sudden doom awaits me in psych for life..well I got to live like that isnt going to happen or i will spend my sane time in worry and depression and fear of failure and that sounds like a sucky way to live, and of obsolutley no use to ther human race if I crumple up like that.
I am sure those that are worse off than me and don't come out of it will appreciate my light, education and straight up tenacity...something in me does not give up. Must be God, must be a reason that I have these experiences.
OK gosh now I just want to feel better physically...I really want to go to the gym like right now. When you are sick...oh my how you remember being well, and how good that feels. Never take health for granted! I do not reccomend LA Tuda!
I am still psychotic in my sleep and nightmares, but when awake dont fight any weird thoughts. The la tuda was for bipolar depression. I think what gets you out of a psychosis is rest. What makes your brain design a whole other world and run with it and never shut down is not sleeping. My head would never shut down. I think druggies induce this state and like it. I am not so into it and dont choose it. Going without sleep to induce enlightenment is something i think Buddhists did. Yes i like the things i see in heaven, but when the whole story flipped and I was evil, thanks I would rather not.
Also when you are in it, you dont know that its not real. I am pretty sure thats why people consider me dangerous, and thats tough for me to feel. I have always had the need to be liked, and well people just do not dig it. Talk about a sober introduction to your own skin. And its never been so bad before. Like i have said two weeks, then i get better for five years and its like nothing happened.
Not this time. I caused a stir! I want to be an activist and ive been asking God for a good five year stretch...if I dont get my stretch and sudden doom awaits me in psych for life..well I got to live like that isnt going to happen or i will spend my sane time in worry and depression and fear of failure and that sounds like a sucky way to live, and of obsolutley no use to ther human race if I crumple up like that.
I am sure those that are worse off than me and don't come out of it will appreciate my light, education and straight up tenacity...something in me does not give up. Must be God, must be a reason that I have these experiences.
OK gosh now I just want to feel better physically...I really want to go to the gym like right now. When you are sick...oh my how you remember being well, and how good that feels. Never take health for granted! I do not reccomend LA Tuda!
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