“Ken And Barbie”
Thanks
for being my main man all this time. I’m a Barbie girl in a Barbie World,
wrapped in plastic its fantastic. Let’s go shopping, let’s pretend were rich!
Let’s make all our dreams come true! And
I don’t feel silly for it a bit. So what if I am a dreamer…so what if I
believed in you. So what I was excited
about life. Who cares if I was
delusional, I have never been so insanely happy! What a gift I have of imagination, of
possibility, of grandeur. I want a mansion, so what. I have worked hard my
whole life and I want my blessings GOD! Give me the fourth dimension, I think
my first years trials could bring it on, damn! Because the way you treated
Barbie was shit, and her story didn’t go right, and Barbie wore jail scrubs and
chains, slept on a hard bed in filth. I want them to make a Stalker Barbie, because
Barbie can do anything! Barbie just loved you Ken! Barbie wants what she wants,
when she wants it! But you weren’t posable, dammit! You didn’t say the things I
was trying to make you say! It’s always
better when I do both the voices. Don’t you know, we could be jet setting to
New York by now to get Barbie her tattoo in all her frilly dresses! Ugh! Central Park, the Statue of Liberty,
Barbie hasn’t been east of South Dakota. Caged Bird Barbie can’t leave town
though…Ken why won’t you just pick me up in my pink corvette, and keep your
fudging mouth shut, and take me there! Just sit there and look good, and do
everything I tell you! You wouldn’t want to upset Barbie would you? Psychotic
Barbie, you no likey? Take it like a man Ken! There are so many different
aspects to Stalker Barbie but there is really only one Ken doll for her, what
is Barbie to do! Barbie is not pretty enough! She must work out like a Nazi Barbie
six days a week, just to get Ken to notice her fitness and health. Nazi gym
addicted Barbie, should have shaved her head, a la Brittney Spears another
rockin’ bipolar woman! Barbie’s boobs were so amazingly perfect, that she had
to remind Ken, just how great they were! And Ken was scared for his life! Alert the
authorities, Barbie wants more sex? Or to damage Ken’s property??? Maybe lure
him in with her body, and then Psycho Barbie stab him??? Let’s play Jeopardy! Hmmm…how confusing for Ken! I will leave that
one up to the officials. And her flabby belly…she had lost it! Barbie was
punished with 12 days of jail food for that…”8 whole pounds!” God help Barbie
if she returns, because that jail fat stuck on her for six months! But oh in
that moment she was a real “10!” She’d gone and done all that work with Ken on
her mind, daydreaming and pushing herself, Barbie thanks Ken that she is
healthy and has nice arm muscular definition…And poor Ken was just terrified,
how sad for this classic, classic duo!!! Oh Ken just jump on the Barbie Dream
House elevator and come up to my bedroom, please God please, make it happen!
Ken you are not listening to me! It’s all your fault you wrecked my big debut.
Boo Ken you suck! I am gonna go shopping, more sexy clothes is what Barbie
needs! Sexy Stalker Barbie has a brand new look! Its called confident stalker
style, so she can own her status! Make
it look good, while you are doing it…think leopard print, hearts on everything,
and a super tight Superwoman tank! Damn Stalker Barbie is HOT, everybody thinks
she is a good looking stalker! They just don’t even believe the whole story,
and why Ken would do that to Barbie! Give Barbie more attention! Stalker Barbie has needs, ya know? Can Ken
tell Stalker Barbie has needs??? That is the question of the millennia and the
world may never know! KEN! KEN! KEN! Tell everybody Barbie wants to marry
Ken! My God because everyone just knows
Barbie and Ken belong together…like since the 1950’s, its so true! Ken come
back…don’t you know Barbie wants you?
Are you confused about what Stalker Barbie wants? And Barbie’s never
cry, because they are plastic. Guess I
am not really a Barbie, holy shit! I am one of those dolls that you pour liquid
in and real tears come out their eyes!
Something called a real person! I just never knew I was so capable of
feeling sad and not dying over it. But I
put my Sparkly Barbie Makeup on and dried my eyes, and rocked this Barbie world
in my Stalker Barbie Dream Car. (this book is the downpayment for the Stalker Barbie
Dream Home for us, fyi.) jk. LOL! I do kill me! Awww you were my Ken doll!
