All Apologies...

So if Kurt Cobain were alive how would he feel about how some human missed a Foo Fighters concert in Billings Montana in 2017. I think he might say say tough heart shaped box kid or "All Apologies" cause I don't have the "right" and I'm easily amused...and no one cares and basically I'm no super hero for deciding to buy my kids presents.

I was literally supposed to be in the hospital til Monday anyhow...I popped right out of my Jesus' blood is in me theory pretty quickly...funny how that's what we're taught covers us, but if you go deeper with it and believe it's actually coursing through your veins and talking about Game of Thrones and how it wouldn't be nice how you thought of the man that represents love to most of the world, wouldnt be like the best lover you'd ever had! Lol putting it on you like Jesus would...is what I said and I think it's worth repeating! But thats kinda a social travesty to say about our Dear Jesus! The shit I say and do psychotic Lord help me, is kinda socially awkward in the morning lol!

So um got out of the hospital three days early and last minute decided I must make the concert happen and spent three hours looking for tickets.  At one point I was sure I had two floor tickets for $128...I was gonna scalp one...and just do it. Then it turns into  $178 with fees and I couldn't do it. Could not justify that.  Not with Christmas and owing some friends money.

My Foo Love is established since 2000...it's no coincidence that Everlong a song about someone "out of her head, she sang" is my heaven sent cryable emotional love song...and I want to have it played at my wedding to a ghost someday...just FYI! But anyway another guy in Spokane named Justin used to serenade me that song at parties...that one had a real crush on me but I picked a doucher instead.  Go figure. But yep 2000 and for me to stick with saying they are my favorite band for seventeen years whenever asked is like a real deal.

There goes my hero he's ordinary I think was my number one song for another doucher that I can't stop talking about for five years. Literally he's my hero by some sick tormenting twist of fate, like why would something so good for my soul have such a pricetag??? Damn son! Heaven forbid a woman call someone her hero in this day and age and not be able to shirk that until literally encountering a ghost love ...which in fact this is where it all becomes debatable and way far out! Like am I that crazy that my my mind makes up how when we talk my mind is whole and I can do things better?  Shit. Idk? Odd duck!

So I did this adult thing. I was so proud I guess and wasn't meaning to sound whiny or anything because peeps seemingly think it's easy for me to "grow a pair" in this poverty shit...well no Foo Love. I went and spent about $150 on my boys at the mall for Christmas! That is like not heard of! Mall stuff! Damn I needed to do that! The mall is a pricey bitch to me, lol! But I went their for Nancy to possibly get her something engraved and ended up in Hot Topic for my kids milling around.  Bought myself a fairy tale "fairy kitty brush" cause all I seem to collect are psychward brushes... and they suck for my magic hair? Well maybe not in an inverse world!!!  And I had this damn fox belt with cute little foxes all over it for a decent price...I had it on the counter and stared at it and I was like no...don't do that! Just stop! Don't and stop! My spirit animal is a white wolf that loves a Black wolf and now stop fukn with the foxes! No 🦊 belt for me. No leather freaking belt with my name on it. Stop. Move forward. Breathe. Just breathe! And just admit ghosts and Jesus make better lovers! Lol. Oh and I scored Wonder Woman knee highs that I will prolly rock at my parents on Christmas Eve, so yes I have no control when I state all things for my boys haha!

I got my boys some neat garb though! It not all I want to get them, but enough that it felt pretty freakin cool! And yes prolly could have got these things cheaper😂 but some how Wally World was not where I needed to be last night. Im a nut in Walmart trust me!!!
 Bonus! I reconnected with someone that offered me some work this week.  He's a famous artist and family friend. So maybe I can get Nancy her engraved nativity minitures set I was after. Nancy is my ghost friend's mom for those who don't follow and pretty much top notch in my life! And she wants miniature nativity!

Other than that paying bills and trying to resurrect my credit score so maybe I can still get a house through Section 8 Home buyer program. And thank God for food stamps right! I've been in the hospital so much I am sitting pretty flush on that account! Also gonna volunteer at Family Service if they will have me! Get out of my brain and try to be around people for a few hours a couple days a week. Other than fighting for independent living as I get threatened with a group home...I am just hoping I can budget the rest of my money and spend wisely on things so I don't have to coast into Laurel for my boys on gas fumes come Christmas Eve!

Lovesyasall!

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