Deliberate Manufactured Misery

I am wearing the shirt of Jake's that his mom left on the washing machine 15 years. I spilled something on a white shirt and she had me put it on, while we washed my shirt.


We've decided that I can spiritually feel Jake in my back...because my back feels fine and then I go to Nancy's and it hurts me every time. So today I had on sweats and Fox Racing tank. And I put Jake's shirt over and out of nowhere my back was just killing me.  So maybe I am superstitious but I took off the fox tank...and lo and behold my back stopped hurting.  Yeah that's weird but no weirder than anything else I say!

I am still hearing. It's not really bothering me too much...it makes me feel strong.  I feel like something big is gonna happen soon...but I don't know what only that I am not afraid.  And then again could be same old shit different day and I am back to loving a hater.


Someone bumped into me really hard last night...I turned to look and saw black curly hair. I also imagined let's say Adam has a girlfriend and I imagined getting beat up.

I am just saying I am manufacturing my own misery with Adam...it doesn't matter anymore. I guess I've said it s million times...but my heart is fukn stupid.  Really not fair this life. My soul wasn't stupid at all... needed this.

Ugh I am done talking. I'm getting sick of being alone and talking to myself.  Ugh.

I drove all week with this target on my back lol. Tough and silly!



Comments