Lol...just got off the phone with a real talker in Spokane. He talked to me about quitting smoking for like 20 minutes, nothing about the living situation and then he told me I should never tell anyone I am bipolar! WTF? He said I wouldn't get a room anywhere in Spokane if I was honest about that. LOL...cats out of the bag! Uh what do you write your books about? Uh whats your job? He is all "tell me today that you are a non-smoker" believe that in yourself... (I had told him I was a vaper) I just said bye and hung up abruptly because I knew that cleaning his house for him was not something I wanted to do for rent...he talked too much and I would never get my books done!
I've decided that having a MI in America is like that lowest possible thing to have on the totem pole. Being an addict is even viewed "better" than me! Its lame. Oh well...people don't understand shit and they fear it so why not make it a all around negative assumption that I am no good. And to think I always could hide it and yes escorted through life like totally blessed by ease and comfort. So what the hell can I do about it now? Can't take it back and can't hide it!
I really think that stigma is shit. But oh well its mine and if I am gonna write books about it I surely can't all of a sudden pull back and regress back into my 20's. I also know another thing about this conversation with this 63 year old man, that if he met me in person, or saw a pic, or heard my life history and why I write about it with passion...he would have put me up a "level." There must be so many with similar life situations and drama and it just makes me wonder what happens to all these people? If I can't get housing in Spokane by stating that I am bipolar which is like the tip of the iceberg, lol and kind of a "light sentence" compared to bipolar psychosis...damn that ship is sunk huh?
I've only lost a bazillion friends in my life. I've gotten where it doesn't phase me as much and I have way less friends than I did about 7 years ago. Its all in God's hands right, and He has shown me that everyone I have ever lost comes back to me...So I am in less pain about it all then you would think. Anyhoo MI getting worse everywhere...stigma is becoming hatred, labeling, classifying and alot of guessing kind of like when the Germans picked off who would live and who would die during a holocaust line up. Yeah just like that...and they say its genetic? Yeah in our genes. Call me stupid but I think its all been a plan!!! Imagine only how they make money off these classifications and mute our senses to the spiritual realm...the doctors don't even really know they are doing it. They just do as they have been taught...all in the Machine.
Kind of an exciting time to be alive!
So this song is a fav right now by the Beib! I just like the chorus..."Can we still be friends?" It is randomly on this post and no I don't want to be friends with the 63 year old cave man who also identified himself as bipolar! I am out the closet to stay folks! LOL. Not crazy as "I want to be," only just as"crazy as I am!"
I've been looking to move to a couple places this morning. I am too distracted in Billings and want to get away from here for a bit..clear my fricken head and actually work on my books. A respite writers nook somewhere cozy...Seattle is hella expensive! I guess thats back when I had credit and sponsorship stipends for going to school. So idk I looked in Red Lodge, Bozo and Spokane.
I've decided that having a MI in America is like that lowest possible thing to have on the totem pole. Being an addict is even viewed "better" than me! Its lame. Oh well...people don't understand shit and they fear it so why not make it a all around negative assumption that I am no good. And to think I always could hide it and yes escorted through life like totally blessed by ease and comfort. So what the hell can I do about it now? Can't take it back and can't hide it!
I really think that stigma is shit. But oh well its mine and if I am gonna write books about it I surely can't all of a sudden pull back and regress back into my 20's. I also know another thing about this conversation with this 63 year old man, that if he met me in person, or saw a pic, or heard my life history and why I write about it with passion...he would have put me up a "level." There must be so many with similar life situations and drama and it just makes me wonder what happens to all these people? If I can't get housing in Spokane by stating that I am bipolar which is like the tip of the iceberg, lol and kind of a "light sentence" compared to bipolar psychosis...damn that ship is sunk huh?
I've only lost a bazillion friends in my life. I've gotten where it doesn't phase me as much and I have way less friends than I did about 7 years ago. Its all in God's hands right, and He has shown me that everyone I have ever lost comes back to me...So I am in less pain about it all then you would think. Anyhoo MI getting worse everywhere...stigma is becoming hatred, labeling, classifying and alot of guessing kind of like when the Germans picked off who would live and who would die during a holocaust line up. Yeah just like that...and they say its genetic? Yeah in our genes. Call me stupid but I think its all been a plan!!! Imagine only how they make money off these classifications and mute our senses to the spiritual realm...the doctors don't even really know they are doing it. They just do as they have been taught...all in the Machine.
Kind of an exciting time to be alive!
So this song is a fav right now by the Beib! I just like the chorus..."Can we still be friends?" It is randomly on this post and no I don't want to be friends with the 63 year old cave man who also identified himself as bipolar! I am out the closet to stay folks! LOL. Not crazy as "I want to be," only just as"crazy as I am!"
I've been looking to move to a couple places this morning. I am too distracted in Billings and want to get away from here for a bit..clear my fricken head and actually work on my books. A respite writers nook somewhere cozy...Seattle is hella expensive! I guess thats back when I had credit and sponsorship stipends for going to school. So idk I looked in Red Lodge, Bozo and Spokane.
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