Am I woke?
I called AMR and said "I am with the Billings Area Resource Network and a I have a question about "how many people use the ambulance for a free ride downtown?"" The hesitation stopped and a freely open conversation ensued when I said that I was afflicted and that I "used" to be on the BARN and now I have lived "that world" first hand.
...I say I need help really bad? Why do YOU need help? Bills...well honestly its cause I wanted to throw my kids a birthday party ($150) and have a ($80) computer that may be better than the one I got out of hawk for $60, so I could make a damn difference in this world with my writing, and help out my friend who was broke? (I'm selling it)
Um, I see that you have $400 of your $1000 a month disability unaccounted for how you spent it...well there was that auto collection on Charter because I am paying off the internet I thought I could afford when I had two part time jobs...I really do try to pay all my bills cause I want that "good credit." "I will show you my bank statement?" "I've been sick?" "I am disabled?" "My kids birthdays???"
"We help with rent and utilities in collections." "Um doesn't that encourage people not to take care of their basics first?" No good answer there! "I paid my rent, it over drafted my account." AND he said it would be rare for anyone to help in town with a car issue...and I found out I could get help possibly getting a car if I did not have one for work. That's why I asked AMR what I did. How many times would I be without money and need a ride?
I could go on about that. But I won't. My oscillating worlds are coming closer to where I can see one world and be shouting "like are you F-N kidding me?" And feel so unheard that it is so unbelievable that I would say on a blog that I am hanging on by a thin thread here and I get silence. Well almost. One friend happened to call me in the AM...and I was prolly "too much." All these people and their "thin threads..." too much!
So last night I meet someone. I won't say his name cause it hits too close to home. He lives at the mission...has rap music that I identify as my "Cross Over World" which is him rapping. Not released. He says he has made six figures. My theory that souls switch shells or bodies is becoming more and more evident to me...he says you need to pray and talk to God. I wonder if he said that because I said "I don't go to church?" I just said ok I will pray! OK.
the end...didn't finish don't care!
I called AMR and said "I am with the Billings Area Resource Network and a I have a question about "how many people use the ambulance for a free ride downtown?"" The hesitation stopped and a freely open conversation ensued when I said that I was afflicted and that I "used" to be on the BARN and now I have lived "that world" first hand.
...I say I need help really bad? Why do YOU need help? Bills...well honestly its cause I wanted to throw my kids a birthday party ($150) and have a ($80) computer that may be better than the one I got out of hawk for $60, so I could make a damn difference in this world with my writing, and help out my friend who was broke? (I'm selling it)
Um, I see that you have $400 of your $1000 a month disability unaccounted for how you spent it...well there was that auto collection on Charter because I am paying off the internet I thought I could afford when I had two part time jobs...I really do try to pay all my bills cause I want that "good credit." "I will show you my bank statement?" "I've been sick?" "I am disabled?" "My kids birthdays???"
"We help with rent and utilities in collections." "Um doesn't that encourage people not to take care of their basics first?" No good answer there! "I paid my rent, it over drafted my account." AND he said it would be rare for anyone to help in town with a car issue...and I found out I could get help possibly getting a car if I did not have one for work. That's why I asked AMR what I did. How many times would I be without money and need a ride?
I could go on about that. But I won't. My oscillating worlds are coming closer to where I can see one world and be shouting "like are you F-N kidding me?" And feel so unheard that it is so unbelievable that I would say on a blog that I am hanging on by a thin thread here and I get silence. Well almost. One friend happened to call me in the AM...and I was prolly "too much." All these people and their "thin threads..." too much!
So last night I meet someone. I won't say his name cause it hits too close to home. He lives at the mission...has rap music that I identify as my "Cross Over World" which is him rapping. Not released. He says he has made six figures. My theory that souls switch shells or bodies is becoming more and more evident to me...he says you need to pray and talk to God. I wonder if he said that because I said "I don't go to church?" I just said ok I will pray! OK.
the end...didn't finish don't care!
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