I'm totally living and I am totally waiting to live. How many other people out there fall in love and it gets rejected? If I didn't see in other dimensions how easy would this be to say "oh for fuks sakes pick someone else, already!" Like seriously and then I did figure that out too and it was a dead one? I don't create or make up that world it is real to me. I don't understand how it doesn't get more attention and my only answer for that is it spritually being cloaked for a truer higher purpose. Because seriously some weird shit up in here! I've made myself kind of iconic or like a character and I have these character lovers...and I just feel I shouldn't be so alone in this, so "broke" in this.
So my instinct tells me it is a God thing. That I feel no man would ever love me enough to handle my illness is probably a message from the devil and another two more weeks without money seems like about the time I need to start dating. If I can't take care of myself financially I don't think there is any shame in that comparatively to how many other people out their need a partner to make it. Plus I need a hug and sex, duoh.
I can't hold out for love forever. If things were different and I was making money off my writing I'd probably follow this love story to the grave and straight into Concord. But I am in fear...and I guess I really have to assess what I want more? A finished miniseries about my psychosis? or toilet paper? Or some dude that I am never gonna be fully happy with? Meh. I will ask the neighbors for toilet paper lol.
Okay totally check out this song they don't have alot of following on YouTube. I think it is an awesome song and happened upon it by typing in "how long must I wait." Duoh ok I thought it was a lyric to something else...but I like these guys!
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