Dori The Explorer

Brain adjustments are scary.  My short term memory is shot.  I feel like Dori on Finding Dori! Does this mean I finally need to use a damn calendar on my phone? Will it get better? What did I just think about two seconds ago? Um it's completely gone!

I think that is how electro shock therapy works except I believe it is for shocking away your long term memories. I am gonna take this day by day and trust God, but it is definitely really scary for me and would be a huge burden for survival.

Just one more thing taken from me because of medication.... grrrrrr!  I wanna heal and beat this shit and understand my psychosis...mind freedom calls meds "mind rape" and yes right now I feel very stolen from yet again.

I am like one big catastrophe anyway...and now? What? I can't remember shit about shit. I just hope this is a withdrawal symptom...and not another addition to my curses. Dude. Day 15. 

Let's just pray it doesn't effect my long term memories...I am totally used to appearing stupid or "not all there." So I guess what's one more issue on me? Maybe withdrawal from the nasty shit they force on people and say is your only option, is so addictive it leaves a mass wave of destruction in your brain patterns, and wants me on my knees begging for more.

http://mentalhealthdaily.com/2014/04/16/abilify-withdrawal-symptoms-how-long-do-they-last/

I guess if you go cold turkey it's way worse but if you felt your face drooping and twitching what would you want to do? My scarred up wrecked up body...my face is like what I got left besides my soul. It helps me blend in with society, and I don't think that is just vanity...it's a reality. I am glad I made that decision. It does state memory loss in this article.  So just keep swimming!