Well you know how Billings is quite the Metropolis? I decided I wanted to live downtown if I am going to stay here...you know not run away and hide in a big city and stuff. So I looked at Acme which accepts Section 8 and they were pretty small apartments. I've been slightly obsessed with moving out of the heights....searching on Craiglist everyday, and I need to stop wasting my time because I have a very nice apartment and if I am gonna move, I will buy, because that was extended to me even after my episode. I haven't had a late payment in five years so thats good! So I say to self stop trying to push shit...especially making decisions about housing! That is not my focus right now, duoh!
I did think although, that I could really promote my business if I lived downtown and wandered the streets naked? No just kidding I have to believe for myself right now that I am going to get better and have a good stretch of sanity. I never know really...just that sometimes five years of life goes by without shit happening. So I am just gonna think it and be it and believe I can be successful again.
I remembered that I had my zip drive for my business plan in my purse. I headed to Big Sky EDA. They had reviewed my plan in May maybe? And gave it kudos. Well I was so not in the business world last May....but I have been told by so many people that it is a good idea, so I marched right up there and talked with a project support specialist and I am slated for planning meeting on October 10th. YAY I can tweak it the plan a little before them.
So I need financial backing...there is no f-n way I can go into a bank and get financed. So I am looking for investors. and grants..and I have backed off my part in the plan quite a bit. I have to be realistic that I can facilitate and orchestrate the set up and design, and decor and what to utilize the space for etc. I can teach classes and dual recovery concepts. I can chair meetings...I can shoot pool and BS with other people. I can make a latte lol. I can connect people to services. on and on. But I def don't want to be in charge of budgets and accounting, need to outsource that to a professional. What I do want is to be part of a team., So that if I get my other world going on I won't be destroying what was built. or disappoint financiers. or the people that look to me for guidance. And if I do go to my other world then I will have enough money to go to Hawaii to regroup, lol. And some days when things overwhelm me mentally I just need to tap out and go. UNCLE. Unfortuanetly that is what I need from any employer, but at least I would want things in place so that I didn't have to be there all the time.
I am a visionary and I don't want to give up on this...I think it is life changing for all involved. I also think when I wrote my plan I was definently a superhuman! Made my part way too big, which was completely distasteful on my part in retrospect. I am still circulating my wants to sue the court. I boosted that post "Homework" and reached 300 some people around the globe. I have no expectations of the world though, there is alot else going on. I do consider our state very backwards that if I was in New York I would have lawyers lining up for civil rights...with an altruistic plan with what to with the settlement even. But yes it seems in Flatt that no one is up defending me...and my mom said I should just freakin defend myself! Oh Lordy! I have one more year before the statute of limitations is up. I can just imagine with my huge stack of medical records...and it's "just not that bad!!" But lucky for me I pop right out of it and can play ball, left or right handed....and I am also an awesome catch!
My truest problem now? Is I do not know how to just simmer down and relax. Unless I am sleeping. I need yoga again. And I am typing with shitty eyesight strain...and I gotta go windex my neighbors windows now. God what is your plan, already???
I did think although, that I could really promote my business if I lived downtown and wandered the streets naked? No just kidding I have to believe for myself right now that I am going to get better and have a good stretch of sanity. I never know really...just that sometimes five years of life goes by without shit happening. So I am just gonna think it and be it and believe I can be successful again.
So after this apartment look see...I was driving towards getting a rental list from Rainbow. I stopped at the Duck Park and looked for a number I had called the day before for a available lease on a building I had seen between 1st Avenue North and Minnesota @27th. I think it would be a good location to have BLACK INK, as well as garner income from the rental properties above. I asked the seller if he had other advances on the property...he said a casino slash bar...that's really all we freakin need!
I remembered that I had my zip drive for my business plan in my purse. I headed to Big Sky EDA. They had reviewed my plan in May maybe? And gave it kudos. Well I was so not in the business world last May....but I have been told by so many people that it is a good idea, so I marched right up there and talked with a project support specialist and I am slated for planning meeting on October 10th. YAY I can tweak it the plan a little before them.
So I need financial backing...there is no f-n way I can go into a bank and get financed. So I am looking for investors. and grants..and I have backed off my part in the plan quite a bit. I have to be realistic that I can facilitate and orchestrate the set up and design, and decor and what to utilize the space for etc. I can teach classes and dual recovery concepts. I can chair meetings...I can shoot pool and BS with other people. I can make a latte lol. I can connect people to services. on and on. But I def don't want to be in charge of budgets and accounting, need to outsource that to a professional. What I do want is to be part of a team., So that if I get my other world going on I won't be destroying what was built. or disappoint financiers. or the people that look to me for guidance. And if I do go to my other world then I will have enough money to go to Hawaii to regroup, lol. And some days when things overwhelm me mentally I just need to tap out and go. UNCLE. Unfortuanetly that is what I need from any employer, but at least I would want things in place so that I didn't have to be there all the time.
I am a visionary and I don't want to give up on this...I think it is life changing for all involved. I also think when I wrote my plan I was definently a superhuman! Made my part way too big, which was completely distasteful on my part in retrospect. I am still circulating my wants to sue the court. I boosted that post "Homework" and reached 300 some people around the globe. I have no expectations of the world though, there is alot else going on. I do consider our state very backwards that if I was in New York I would have lawyers lining up for civil rights...with an altruistic plan with what to with the settlement even. But yes it seems in Flatt that no one is up defending me...and my mom said I should just freakin defend myself! Oh Lordy! I have one more year before the statute of limitations is up. I can just imagine with my huge stack of medical records...and it's "just not that bad!!" But lucky for me I pop right out of it and can play ball, left or right handed....and I am also an awesome catch!
My truest problem now? Is I do not know how to just simmer down and relax. Unless I am sleeping. I need yoga again. And I am typing with shitty eyesight strain...and I gotta go windex my neighbors windows now. God what is your plan, already???
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