Well I have called pretty much all the social services in town. They are obviously overwhelmed and pissed off...and so I just stayed home all day today. Not gonna worry my wallet is missing. Not gonna worry about all the people ignoring me. Not gonna fret. Just gonna sit here on my ass and save the world with my rhetoric, maybe hook up my TV and watch some Goonies, or other such inspirational movies I have on hand. You know the ones that make you believe in yourself?
I ain't getting nowhere fast and I just have to face that though people may care, they don't have the time nor energy to deal with the magnitude of my psychosis. Who I think I am, my ideas, my concepts etc. My gift is futile until it gets noticed in some way to be vital and relevant to today's mess of society...and today is not my day. Connie says the world isn't ready for me...well hurry the fuk up world? Doubt it's tomorrow is either and I can only make so many calls and get no replies for HOW LONG? Don't give up? Who are these social services places helping if they won't help me? I am fricken confused?
fuk it. Seriously. The irony of it is not lost on me and goes straight into my psychosis. I don't live for Flatt. My life is so much bigger than my flesh...and just watch me lose everything despite my efforts not to...and I dont much like being typical...and I havn't much liked being stereotyped or generalized by people that have no clue! And that is my "hide."
And then I remember Rachel's eyes at the hospital and how they glowed and how she was so beautiful. I think I am not alone. I think just because I get so confused about direction when I am not psychotic and then the fukn slammed doors start to speak to me in obvious ways. I am angry...but I wonder how God is gonna use that? Yeah you could hurry up with that GOD!
I've been on my computer all day. Time for a nap and a sammich. This is a cheesy song but psychosis has me feeling like questioning pubescent pretty much an ongoing battle between two worlds ever since 2013 soul apocalype....its the most confusing possible life quest challenge I do believe.
I am sorry I have subjected you to this video. You can laugh freely at my choice!
I ain't getting nowhere fast and I just have to face that though people may care, they don't have the time nor energy to deal with the magnitude of my psychosis. Who I think I am, my ideas, my concepts etc. My gift is futile until it gets noticed in some way to be vital and relevant to today's mess of society...and today is not my day. Connie says the world isn't ready for me...well hurry the fuk up world? Doubt it's tomorrow is either and I can only make so many calls and get no replies for HOW LONG? Don't give up? Who are these social services places helping if they won't help me? I am fricken confused?
fuk it. Seriously. The irony of it is not lost on me and goes straight into my psychosis. I don't live for Flatt. My life is so much bigger than my flesh...and just watch me lose everything despite my efforts not to...and I dont much like being typical...and I havn't much liked being stereotyped or generalized by people that have no clue! And that is my "hide."
And then I remember Rachel's eyes at the hospital and how they glowed and how she was so beautiful. I think I am not alone. I think just because I get so confused about direction when I am not psychotic and then the fukn slammed doors start to speak to me in obvious ways. I am angry...but I wonder how God is gonna use that? Yeah you could hurry up with that GOD!
I've been on my computer all day. Time for a nap and a sammich. This is a cheesy song but psychosis has me feeling like questioning pubescent pretty much an ongoing battle between two worlds ever since 2013 soul apocalype....its the most confusing possible life quest challenge I do believe.
I am sorry I have subjected you to this video. You can laugh freely at my choice!
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