It's really weird for me that I was always so conservative...wanted to fit in and blend in, and not stand out. I was raised conservative Christian. I could blend into that and look that and talk that, but I was never like 100...guess cause I liked to party!
I am at church. They are holding it at the zoo today...I did it for the kids. I haven't been to church since I started going to the program and since my church decided my felony was made because of bad choices and refused to believe I had a mental handicap..."we can't help you because your're making poor choices...sounds like you need to walk this out on your own." And then I do that and I have great sobriety for some time and I try to tell them my story...and it fell on deaf ears. I had gone there for eight years and taken classes there etc. And I wasn't too severe in my illness so maybe what I recovered from seems like not a big deal. So they feature people's "decisions" to make changes and get sober or make a decision to follow Jesus and its like a ten minute video applauding this person! So imagine me I get jelly and resentful and I say go figure to that, but this complete rejection from the church has helped broadened my horizons into the freak I have become in my beliefs as of today!
I have tried to tell my recovery story to a couple other churches and it absolutely makes me feel ostracized by the very things I believed all my life...and I think alot of people in the church do not know how to "act like Jesus" at all... absolutely turn their back on the unexplainable or "not pretty"...not in a a box with a bow. Yes I totally feel abandoned by the faith I was raised in. On the fringes if society. And my stories will disturb and shock your lil mimosa breakfast party lol! Yeah I was never invited back by that snobby lil click! And then when they would see me didn't know me? Hmm..."Christian."
I am a real "freak" of a believer...and the process of my past five years? Well my beliefs have morphed beyond what I have ever been taught. And well that's scary cause I base all my spiritual beliefs on things I see while I am insane...and I've seen what I've seen, and about souls, I've seen alot about genetic inheritance. And so help me if some one tries to tell me it's a lie from the devil to trick me so I will go to hell because I won't say Jesus is the only answer for every soul that ever walked the earth. Ah there's some blood on your nose. Bam. No I am just playing wouldnt actually punch anyone for telling me all my beliefs are from the devil. I need penance and purification, and possibly an exorcism because I believe that there is no Hell for any soul after the final crossover and that souls have been sifting back and forth reincarnating to accomplish this Well I believe in reincarnation and that we've all walked all walks and we've all seen Jesus as savior.
I am weird. This is a weird random post....but I guess most are! Where do I fit??? Hmmmm ConCord. YES.
Me and my boys!
I am at church. They are holding it at the zoo today...I did it for the kids. I haven't been to church since I started going to the program and since my church decided my felony was made because of bad choices and refused to believe I had a mental handicap..."we can't help you because your're making poor choices...sounds like you need to walk this out on your own." And then I do that and I have great sobriety for some time and I try to tell them my story...and it fell on deaf ears. I had gone there for eight years and taken classes there etc. And I wasn't too severe in my illness so maybe what I recovered from seems like not a big deal. So they feature people's "decisions" to make changes and get sober or make a decision to follow Jesus and its like a ten minute video applauding this person! So imagine me I get jelly and resentful and I say go figure to that, but this complete rejection from the church has helped broadened my horizons into the freak I have become in my beliefs as of today!
I have tried to tell my recovery story to a couple other churches and it absolutely makes me feel ostracized by the very things I believed all my life...and I think alot of people in the church do not know how to "act like Jesus" at all... absolutely turn their back on the unexplainable or "not pretty"...not in a a box with a bow. Yes I totally feel abandoned by the faith I was raised in. On the fringes if society. And my stories will disturb and shock your lil mimosa breakfast party lol! Yeah I was never invited back by that snobby lil click! And then when they would see me didn't know me? Hmm..."Christian."
I am a real "freak" of a believer...and the process of my past five years? Well my beliefs have morphed beyond what I have ever been taught. And well that's scary cause I base all my spiritual beliefs on things I see while I am insane...and I've seen what I've seen, and about souls, I've seen alot about genetic inheritance. And so help me if some one tries to tell me it's a lie from the devil to trick me so I will go to hell because I won't say Jesus is the only answer for every soul that ever walked the earth. Ah there's some blood on your nose. Bam. No I am just playing wouldnt actually punch anyone for telling me all my beliefs are from the devil. I need penance and purification, and possibly an exorcism because I believe that there is no Hell for any soul after the final crossover and that souls have been sifting back and forth reincarnating to accomplish this Well I believe in reincarnation and that we've all walked all walks and we've all seen Jesus as savior.
I am weird. This is a weird random post....but I guess most are! Where do I fit??? Hmmmm ConCord. YES.
Me and my boys!
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