I kind of love my life...just last night I was saying I was scared because I had no direction. I always have goals...things I attempt that most my life I made happen, but in recent years a lot of my directional choices just lead me back to..."you should just be a writer." Just keep on with that.
Well the morning started out with me spotting a part time job with National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI). I have volunteered with Nami and done my Community Service there....gone to groups, taken course and advocated. So finally they opened a paid assistant position for the Director 10 to 2 M-F $15 an hour...yep gonna be me. So I marched down there with a coffee for myself and the new director, who I have yet to meet and was gonna explain my poor resume in person. Well my resume has Mental Health Advisory Board...Montana Peer Network and a certification in Peer Mentorship recently but not like glowing how it was 7 years ago with the top of the line references in the City. So do you know why I must go in person? Because I have figured out that over the phone when I say I have a felony for stalking or even a little bit about the story...the game is over. I think that all the employers I have disclosed this to whether in person or on the phone think I am lying about it being over texting, that there is way more to the story. Well there freakin is I guess, but yes felony stalking was for texts. And then I explain I am bipolar and of the 50 or so jobs I have applied for in my career field will not even interview me.
So dude wasn't there. Call Employment first who is doing their hiring....over 50 applicants and they will interview 5. Well. Who cares how much volunteering I do or advocating...FELON. They won't even interview me, I am not gonna bother. Boo. Lame. What next?
So I get on the phone with someone I had sent my Black Ink Business Plan to. I mention that I have conceded to try and do this plan without suing the City cause I was getting no where with that One Woman Show! Seriously...pro bono? UP against the system? Not gonna happen! Disability Rights couldn't help me...NAMI couldn't help me...list goes on the system is drowning problems and the status quo? I guess it wins...cause even I recognized absolutely no one wanted to help me! Now that is seriously fukt up and sad because I know I am not the only one that gets bent over and I thought I had a really solid stance for mental health rights, like a freaking poster child. No one wants it...they don't revolution like I do...they want itty bitty band aids on a massive explosion...maybe they like the money. Its sad...but I was getting no buy in on my idea while including a law suit to fund recovery in our city. Anyhoo plan B.
So some names get dropped and the next thing I know I am excited about my business plan again! I scheduled an appointment with Downtown Billings Business Exchange...I took a copy to the Crisis Center. Last week I was getting some name dropping and ideas of who to talk to while at the Public Housing office because I used to be on committees with the director. I even smiled and walked up to a police officer parked at the station and gave him a copy! I am brave, lol. I just really really think it is the missing link to how our community runs. The program is so utilized by the courts and its a free service. Peer mentoring will pay non-professionals with recovery knowledge to help bridge the gap...and I want to have an awesome space for people to gather! Its gonna be cool! ya.ya.
I know how the Peers will be paid....but the lawsuit was suppose to be for recovery incentives...and to prove a fricken point....so um yeah...I a very disappointed about that and I think if lawyers and other people in the community were even willings to look into what happened in the court they would stand with me....but they don't and they won't, so I will have to find another way to fund my incentives.
I feel fully alive this Friday...but not manic, so no worries. Just a good day for getting some direction again. I feel good about myself for not giving up on my idea even after all I have been through!
Well the morning started out with me spotting a part time job with National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI). I have volunteered with Nami and done my Community Service there....gone to groups, taken course and advocated. So finally they opened a paid assistant position for the Director 10 to 2 M-F $15 an hour...yep gonna be me. So I marched down there with a coffee for myself and the new director, who I have yet to meet and was gonna explain my poor resume in person. Well my resume has Mental Health Advisory Board...Montana Peer Network and a certification in Peer Mentorship recently but not like glowing how it was 7 years ago with the top of the line references in the City. So do you know why I must go in person? Because I have figured out that over the phone when I say I have a felony for stalking or even a little bit about the story...the game is over. I think that all the employers I have disclosed this to whether in person or on the phone think I am lying about it being over texting, that there is way more to the story. Well there freakin is I guess, but yes felony stalking was for texts. And then I explain I am bipolar and of the 50 or so jobs I have applied for in my career field will not even interview me.
So dude wasn't there. Call Employment first who is doing their hiring....over 50 applicants and they will interview 5. Well. Who cares how much volunteering I do or advocating...FELON. They won't even interview me, I am not gonna bother. Boo. Lame. What next?
So I get on the phone with someone I had sent my Black Ink Business Plan to. I mention that I have conceded to try and do this plan without suing the City cause I was getting no where with that One Woman Show! Seriously...pro bono? UP against the system? Not gonna happen! Disability Rights couldn't help me...NAMI couldn't help me...list goes on the system is drowning problems and the status quo? I guess it wins...cause even I recognized absolutely no one wanted to help me! Now that is seriously fukt up and sad because I know I am not the only one that gets bent over and I thought I had a really solid stance for mental health rights, like a freaking poster child. No one wants it...they don't revolution like I do...they want itty bitty band aids on a massive explosion...maybe they like the money. Its sad...but I was getting no buy in on my idea while including a law suit to fund recovery in our city. Anyhoo plan B.
So some names get dropped and the next thing I know I am excited about my business plan again! I scheduled an appointment with Downtown Billings Business Exchange...I took a copy to the Crisis Center. Last week I was getting some name dropping and ideas of who to talk to while at the Public Housing office because I used to be on committees with the director. I even smiled and walked up to a police officer parked at the station and gave him a copy! I am brave, lol. I just really really think it is the missing link to how our community runs. The program is so utilized by the courts and its a free service. Peer mentoring will pay non-professionals with recovery knowledge to help bridge the gap...and I want to have an awesome space for people to gather! Its gonna be cool! ya.ya.
I know how the Peers will be paid....but the lawsuit was suppose to be for recovery incentives...and to prove a fricken point....so um yeah...I a very disappointed about that and I think if lawyers and other people in the community were even willings to look into what happened in the court they would stand with me....but they don't and they won't, so I will have to find another way to fund my incentives.
I feel fully alive this Friday...but not manic, so no worries. Just a good day for getting some direction again. I feel good about myself for not giving up on my idea even after all I have been through!
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