So how about harnessing that potential? How about utilizing my mental strangeness instead of letting it destroy me? Plenty of weird fukers prolly deliver us Hollywood lol! I'm gonna try to write a movie about Crossovers and make it so a lot of people can see the spiritual realm, so I don't feel so lonely lol! I started this idea three years ago but not about a movie. I put the writing in a workshop and they loved it! They said wow good imagination! And I just said I don't have to imagine anything it's my altered society and story line I sometimes believe is real. It's just there in me!
This is gonna be something never done before! New, crisp. Intelligent and mind blowing! I am keeping my characters as is ...but adding many more! Yay this is gonna be so fun'. I am totally inspired because the guy that took my Milky Way photos works at One Studio and they have people there that write for Hollywood right here in Billings! I never knew! So I am gonna ask him to introduce me to them.
I think I can. I think I can. I think I want to! This is a good goal...this will lift my spirits and keep me entertained. I've been going a lot of directions on what to do with myself that will make me feel fulfilled...and when I am cleaning houses I can think of ideas and not just bitch in my head about how unfair it is that I ended up a maid, lol. The little girl in me said that was never gonna be the case! I was never gonna be like my mom and well I adore her and want to be just like her now!
I am really so excited for God putting this goal in my head. I stared at the wall for two hours in my bed just praying and frustrated. I didn't want to clean my house either and had quite the words to God, I really let him have it. And he listened...told me He knew I had a hard job. And I just want it to stop being so hard like now, and give me everything I want...bring him to me! "No not yet."
So then I met with my new therapist. She says I have a very impressive, wide and fabulous psychoses and she is open that it is spiritual. I told her about the germ army of male spirits that rescued me from being the lowest germ in hell which I was told at 18. It's about time guys lol.
We also talked about my business plan which includes a lawsuit versus working on my crossover book/movie idea. She thinks work on the book and not be stressed out about finding a pro bono lawyer etc...and I still have a year for the statute of limitations.
One person told me that I could not run a business. Well I am the owner...and its not really a business...its a Social Enterprise and it is desperately needed. Social Enterprise was a buzz word when I worked for the city and I don't really know who has adopted the concept. I am gonna spend my settlement on people in recovery that are getting Peer Mentor Services and set up trainings for Peer Mentors. I literally got granola bars in treatment court, for doing a good job...I think once. Who needs granola bars when shit is hitting the fan? Take me to the mall! Help me take my kids to the movies or the trampoline park. Hey beautiful woman that is trying so hard, do you want a pedicure today? Lets go do some fun shit! Lets give them the luxuries they never get...and so you stayed sober for a year? Here's a coin!??? No my kids been begging me for gymnastics and he needs braces! Ok done!
I want to sue the shit out the city...to make a statement. They never once recognized my sobriety because I got dilutes. I had a doctors note for the dilutes and they kept punishing me...didn't graduate me after 22 months and never knew my diagnosis or cared to know what happened to me. I think the kicker is the judge saying to me my illness was "not that bad." OOOOOHhhhhhh that just makes me want to stand up and fight for the rights of everyone stuck this deplorable system. I am so sick of the way things are for people with mental illness, addictions...money making bullshit bureaucracy! GRRRRRRR....I am not a robot...I am a human. Treat me like a human. I heard they got $30,000 a year for having me in their program. And I got a box of granola bars. No services whatsoever...not even a group for me to go to. And I tried my ass off for them...and they revocated me.
So I think utilizing my own personal struggle with having dual diagnosis in this city could be inspiring to others who want to try to change their lives. I will put 90 percent of my settlement money on betting it makes a difference for our community. Bueller? Bueller? Anyone?
Sorry guess I am just a passionate person with an extreme disability and I feel like they just curb stomped me and said fuk your rights as a human with a disability..."Cause its not that bad!" And that is what sucks about having a "hidden" illness. Just a little FYI...Just a little passionate! Its only slightly fuking painful to me. I surely would have qualified for the insanity plea for those seven texts...right? Temporary insanity gets people off of murder! But alas my lawyer said no one would believe you thought you were in heaven and he was your soul mate. I was. And he is.
Anywho...yeah a movie.
This is gonna be something never done before! New, crisp. Intelligent and mind blowing! I am keeping my characters as is ...but adding many more! Yay this is gonna be so fun'. I am totally inspired because the guy that took my Milky Way photos works at One Studio and they have people there that write for Hollywood right here in Billings! I never knew! So I am gonna ask him to introduce me to them.
I think I can. I think I can. I think I want to! This is a good goal...this will lift my spirits and keep me entertained. I've been going a lot of directions on what to do with myself that will make me feel fulfilled...and when I am cleaning houses I can think of ideas and not just bitch in my head about how unfair it is that I ended up a maid, lol. The little girl in me said that was never gonna be the case! I was never gonna be like my mom and well I adore her and want to be just like her now!
I am really so excited for God putting this goal in my head. I stared at the wall for two hours in my bed just praying and frustrated. I didn't want to clean my house either and had quite the words to God, I really let him have it. And he listened...told me He knew I had a hard job. And I just want it to stop being so hard like now, and give me everything I want...bring him to me! "No not yet."
So then I met with my new therapist. She says I have a very impressive, wide and fabulous psychoses and she is open that it is spiritual. I told her about the germ army of male spirits that rescued me from being the lowest germ in hell which I was told at 18. It's about time guys lol.
We also talked about my business plan which includes a lawsuit versus working on my crossover book/movie idea. She thinks work on the book and not be stressed out about finding a pro bono lawyer etc...and I still have a year for the statute of limitations.
One person told me that I could not run a business. Well I am the owner...and its not really a business...its a Social Enterprise and it is desperately needed. Social Enterprise was a buzz word when I worked for the city and I don't really know who has adopted the concept. I am gonna spend my settlement on people in recovery that are getting Peer Mentor Services and set up trainings for Peer Mentors. I literally got granola bars in treatment court, for doing a good job...I think once. Who needs granola bars when shit is hitting the fan? Take me to the mall! Help me take my kids to the movies or the trampoline park. Hey beautiful woman that is trying so hard, do you want a pedicure today? Lets go do some fun shit! Lets give them the luxuries they never get...and so you stayed sober for a year? Here's a coin!??? No my kids been begging me for gymnastics and he needs braces! Ok done!
I want to sue the shit out the city...to make a statement. They never once recognized my sobriety because I got dilutes. I had a doctors note for the dilutes and they kept punishing me...didn't graduate me after 22 months and never knew my diagnosis or cared to know what happened to me. I think the kicker is the judge saying to me my illness was "not that bad." OOOOOHhhhhhh that just makes me want to stand up and fight for the rights of everyone stuck this deplorable system. I am so sick of the way things are for people with mental illness, addictions...money making bullshit bureaucracy! GRRRRRRR....I am not a robot...I am a human. Treat me like a human. I heard they got $30,000 a year for having me in their program. And I got a box of granola bars. No services whatsoever...not even a group for me to go to. And I tried my ass off for them...and they revocated me.
So I think utilizing my own personal struggle with having dual diagnosis in this city could be inspiring to others who want to try to change their lives. I will put 90 percent of my settlement money on betting it makes a difference for our community. Bueller? Bueller? Anyone?
Sorry guess I am just a passionate person with an extreme disability and I feel like they just curb stomped me and said fuk your rights as a human with a disability..."Cause its not that bad!" And that is what sucks about having a "hidden" illness. Just a little FYI...Just a little passionate! Its only slightly fuking painful to me. I surely would have qualified for the insanity plea for those seven texts...right? Temporary insanity gets people off of murder! But alas my lawyer said no one would believe you thought you were in heaven and he was your soul mate. I was. And he is.
Anywho...yeah a movie.
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