OK so I saw someone from the night of the Lake at the hospital tonight. She looked different. On the night I came in she was glowing and her green eyes sparkled. She is a native woman and I thought she was a priestess. She was gorgeous with flawless skin and her eyes were like these orbits of fantasy and grace. She was my guard in the ER. And I was telling her all about what happened that day and telling her about Jake. I was also telling her she was a lady wolf like me. I was left in a room with a mattress on the floor by the time I was done trading for my escape. Gross hospital floors and I was laying on them because I think that's when I realized there was an army on the floor, and I needed to help them. I remember asking Rachel for orange juice and water because my army was dehydrated. I poured it on my floor of course! Little micro organized armies get thirsty right?Yes...took biology and physiology and physics...and was a barista...all things need fluids! Its all my little GERMens! Shit that makes me laugh. And somehow I am not physically sick from being in a disgusting lock down for ten days...germs must adore me! Obviously...Ima hybrid. My white blood cell count is always high...my protectors.
There was also a native homeless man yelling in the room next to me and I was sure I was his spiritual daughter of an ancient tribe and that he was hollering vengeance on the land, and I was to be like an offering to the spirit world. But he wasn't going to offer me up, without letting his pain be heard. I was the oldest daughter. I am an oldest daughter of with five sisters, all married. I am also the oldest of 30 grand children on my father's side. So of course I am this native mans oldest spiritual daughter, right? And he was super pissed about how I had been treated.
So I see Rachel last night and I was almost shocked. Her eyes were dull...skin had wrinkles...ashen color. She was plain! I wish I would have explained it better to her that I think I was seeing her soul that night, but I just chatted a minute and said I was doing better and said her eyes looked different. I am awful sometimes about accepting that people think this is the better me. She says "oh you look better..." and I immediately go into agreement that my reality in the machine is a better place for me then where I get taken. Is this not a fukn movie already? I wanna see my credits roll dammit! I actually put together 600 pages of an extended memoir...it was pretty crazy so I never published it and in it I ran credits of the people who effected my life. My credits were like 20 pages of lists...because I was connected everything psychotically.
Another memory I had last night was when I was getting an IV. I remember a blood draw in the lock down where it look like she was drawing my blood and then putting it right back into me, not just stealing it for research. I thought she was injecting my army into me. And that everything wrong with my body they were gonna start working to heal. Even my skin started changing right before my eyes. My freckles started moving together and blending and I just knew I was gonna have this beautiful golden tan! Something I have always felt cheated on, but got skin cancer from tanning. And I didn't even tan all that much! So lesson is be happy with how God made you cause now I have a scar of my chest from skin cancer.
I thought this was part of becoming real...part of being in heaven. I think that peoples eyes were glowing all over the place to me...especially younger people...like they got to cross over first. They all looked so beautiful. That younger generations were documenters. You know like the bible names generations and keeps track? Well let's just say we are not a jumbled mess of humanity...and it has all been kept track of! Surprise Ancestry.com exists, and we all know where we came from! Lol is this "invention" just for keeping in touch? Well I come from royalty on one side called Bayless', lol! But then my last name appears without a trace three generations ago, during the German Empire...its a name with no "ancestry" on Ancestry.com. Like literally my grandpas dad came from no where? A last name that is new? Weird. Could a be a Jewish princess? And get that "New House" please? Order in! I always despised the mispronunciation of my last name and now I have it tattooed on my wrist like a barcode. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! And every tattoo people have is meaningful to me when I get psychotic...and then I see the beautiful people that I think are crossed over and there tattoos are gone. And that was another thing my little army was doing with my blood is setting my body back to pure.
And I will leave you on this note and a little reminder about systems...THE POOR INHERIT THE EARTH! WHAT WAS MEANT FOR EVIL WILL BE TURNED FOR GOOD! A certain president better learn to smoke a peace pipe real quick. Shit I need to smoke a peace pipe myself, instead of cigs! My cousin that travels the world smokes hookah. I am so longing to go to other places for real and not just end my mind. Ok going to Barjons today!
Lovesyas...
Guess who was sent for BOOKS???
There was also a native homeless man yelling in the room next to me and I was sure I was his spiritual daughter of an ancient tribe and that he was hollering vengeance on the land, and I was to be like an offering to the spirit world. But he wasn't going to offer me up, without letting his pain be heard. I was the oldest daughter. I am an oldest daughter of with five sisters, all married. I am also the oldest of 30 grand children on my father's side. So of course I am this native mans oldest spiritual daughter, right? And he was super pissed about how I had been treated.
So I see Rachel last night and I was almost shocked. Her eyes were dull...skin had wrinkles...ashen color. She was plain! I wish I would have explained it better to her that I think I was seeing her soul that night, but I just chatted a minute and said I was doing better and said her eyes looked different. I am awful sometimes about accepting that people think this is the better me. She says "oh you look better..." and I immediately go into agreement that my reality in the machine is a better place for me then where I get taken. Is this not a fukn movie already? I wanna see my credits roll dammit! I actually put together 600 pages of an extended memoir...it was pretty crazy so I never published it and in it I ran credits of the people who effected my life. My credits were like 20 pages of lists...because I was connected everything psychotically.
Another memory I had last night was when I was getting an IV. I remember a blood draw in the lock down where it look like she was drawing my blood and then putting it right back into me, not just stealing it for research. I thought she was injecting my army into me. And that everything wrong with my body they were gonna start working to heal. Even my skin started changing right before my eyes. My freckles started moving together and blending and I just knew I was gonna have this beautiful golden tan! Something I have always felt cheated on, but got skin cancer from tanning. And I didn't even tan all that much! So lesson is be happy with how God made you cause now I have a scar of my chest from skin cancer.
I thought this was part of becoming real...part of being in heaven. I think that peoples eyes were glowing all over the place to me...especially younger people...like they got to cross over first. They all looked so beautiful. That younger generations were documenters. You know like the bible names generations and keeps track? Well let's just say we are not a jumbled mess of humanity...and it has all been kept track of! Surprise Ancestry.com exists, and we all know where we came from! Lol is this "invention" just for keeping in touch? Well I come from royalty on one side called Bayless', lol! But then my last name appears without a trace three generations ago, during the German Empire...its a name with no "ancestry" on Ancestry.com. Like literally my grandpas dad came from no where? A last name that is new? Weird. Could a be a Jewish princess? And get that "New House" please? Order in! I always despised the mispronunciation of my last name and now I have it tattooed on my wrist like a barcode. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! And every tattoo people have is meaningful to me when I get psychotic...and then I see the beautiful people that I think are crossed over and there tattoos are gone. And that was another thing my little army was doing with my blood is setting my body back to pure.
And I will leave you on this note and a little reminder about systems...THE POOR INHERIT THE EARTH! WHAT WAS MEANT FOR EVIL WILL BE TURNED FOR GOOD! A certain president better learn to smoke a peace pipe real quick. Shit I need to smoke a peace pipe myself, instead of cigs! My cousin that travels the world smokes hookah. I am so longing to go to other places for real and not just end my mind. Ok going to Barjons today!
Lovesyas...
Guess who was sent for BOOKS???
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