I've been talking with people on Facebook in reguard to my dating site idea and I have gotten some good advice. I have been super indecisive lately like major bad about what I want. I try every angle of my own shit! Over and over! It's of course the things I am passionate about but it's left me in an I am addicted to my own thinking and my muse and that's the way it is!
So I decided I am too enveloped in the AA world and have been sucked into an abyss and I have no memory of who I used to be! Ok I think I am better sober but I had a full life before all this. So I am like constantly working on my problems in groups and solutions and yes that is helpful but can't be my entire gig! There are other people in this town and I used to know a lot of them. A friend told me I would meet people naturally from getting Out and doing things outside of AA. Normies! Nick told me today he didn't even think I was a real alcoholic??? I don't want to drink but today I am like am I even in the right place? I know it helps me it would help any human!!! But why has it become my world and I see no world outside of it??? I messaged an acquaintance from high school on Facebook that always seems to be doing fun things outdoors with groups of people! I just told him about my situation and asked if I could join their crew.
I just know I need to make changes because utmost my whole reason to be in AA is to be healthy. And I guess I got to decide soon what I want more? Do I want to continue with my fantasies? Be a writer alone at home? Yes I like it...but people like crack too. Doesn't mean it's good for me!
Maybe I was just in a phase? A splice between being a drunk and being who I was created to be? I want to be invited to do things! I want to be involved...volunteer...fricken rebuild my reputation in the mainstream of life. And go to Barjons, lol.
My indecision drives me nuts it's because I decide on so many things and they never work out! Just not ready to give up though!!! Faith.
So I decided I am too enveloped in the AA world and have been sucked into an abyss and I have no memory of who I used to be! Ok I think I am better sober but I had a full life before all this. So I am like constantly working on my problems in groups and solutions and yes that is helpful but can't be my entire gig! There are other people in this town and I used to know a lot of them. A friend told me I would meet people naturally from getting Out and doing things outside of AA. Normies! Nick told me today he didn't even think I was a real alcoholic??? I don't want to drink but today I am like am I even in the right place? I know it helps me it would help any human!!! But why has it become my world and I see no world outside of it??? I messaged an acquaintance from high school on Facebook that always seems to be doing fun things outdoors with groups of people! I just told him about my situation and asked if I could join their crew.
I just know I need to make changes because utmost my whole reason to be in AA is to be healthy. And I guess I got to decide soon what I want more? Do I want to continue with my fantasies? Be a writer alone at home? Yes I like it...but people like crack too. Doesn't mean it's good for me!
Maybe I was just in a phase? A splice between being a drunk and being who I was created to be? I want to be invited to do things! I want to be involved...volunteer...fricken rebuild my reputation in the mainstream of life. And go to Barjons, lol.
My indecision drives me nuts it's because I decide on so many things and they never work out! Just not ready to give up though!!! Faith.
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