Can't complain too much. Shits sideways yes...but I got air in my lungs and a return to sanity from unprecedented proportions. What a trip. I liked that trip. Especially the Garden of Eden...wow! Nuts yo! But I am doing pretty great handling all the aftermath...keeping spirits up even though the lithium makes me exhausted. I am impressed with myself. Used to go dark immediately following heaven...like this flip switch back and forth. It could still happen, but hasn't happened yet.
I don't like the term mental illness...I don't like the stigma. I think whatever I have is awesome and not a deficit. I don't know if its just me protecting my ego like never before but I have really come to accept it as part of me. In my past I felt so shameful...it made me hate myself and surely society doesn't truly accept it so why should I? That's all changed for me and I am like well? It happened again. And it was amazing and I was insane and throwing away my stuff cause I was a millionaire. What gives? Make a movie out of me haha!
Everything connects in my brain like a live wire...everything streamlines. Everything makes sense. I know my every action counts and that I am powerful. I am awake. Spirit filled. A ball of energy. One with the universe. A princess....a fairytale. Everything is so meaningful and my heart is like busting out of me for the world. Love. Love. Love. And its like I can see people's spirits so clearly.
I don't like the answers of my doctors that this is all just a chemistry thing. Its definitely spiritual...I guess in the way that drugs can feel spiritual. But if you believe in the spirit world and can hear it, why would you buy into the theories that its a chemical thing. I am not liking our society's answers for this right now.
A soul connection to something greater. The universe. For real.
I don't like the term mental illness...I don't like the stigma. I think whatever I have is awesome and not a deficit. I don't know if its just me protecting my ego like never before but I have really come to accept it as part of me. In my past I felt so shameful...it made me hate myself and surely society doesn't truly accept it so why should I? That's all changed for me and I am like well? It happened again. And it was amazing and I was insane and throwing away my stuff cause I was a millionaire. What gives? Make a movie out of me haha!
Everything connects in my brain like a live wire...everything streamlines. Everything makes sense. I know my every action counts and that I am powerful. I am awake. Spirit filled. A ball of energy. One with the universe. A princess....a fairytale. Everything is so meaningful and my heart is like busting out of me for the world. Love. Love. Love. And its like I can see people's spirits so clearly.
I don't like the answers of my doctors that this is all just a chemistry thing. Its definitely spiritual...I guess in the way that drugs can feel spiritual. But if you believe in the spirit world and can hear it, why would you buy into the theories that its a chemical thing. I am not liking our society's answers for this right now.
A soul connection to something greater. The universe. For real.
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