I don't know how I still miss him sometimes...like in my gut. I imagine him healthy though but that's not what I hear about him. Makes me sad. I really thought throwing the Fox hat in the lake was like meaning I was letting go but fuck I want to see him today...there's gonna be a day that I see him right? And would it end up with the police? I wouldn't think he would still be that cruel but you never know.
I asked my neighbor what he would think about a female writing about him for fours years and making a character out of him. He basically said he would like it and be flattered. It's something alright. Love is weird. My mind is weird. My heart is weird.
Being married to a ghost? Well I can't feel Jake with me anymore. His spirit made love to me in the lockdown like all the first night I came from the lake. He really comforted me and cuddled me and made me feel safe. And I could feel him breathing next to me. What a powerful experience to have! But there is this tangible part of me that knows he wouldn't bind me to ghostly vows. I think it was more of a promise to take care of me and let me know how he loves me. Thank you God for letting me feel so loved and adored. I said I was gonna have a date with Jake and I did! Love can raise the dead! This is kinda a miraculous story and I am glad I am a writer right now. But it's also disappointing it wasn't true. Very much. There's my real tears again...can't believe they were gone all those years. How does ones soul stop producing tears?
I am not a vixen today...I am a needy little girl that needs an angel. I fear that Adam is too far gone in drugs I would want to hold him and nurse him back to health. He was always anti drugs so I don't understand why? Why would he choose that? It breaks my heart so much. It's the Devils drug...my enemy's tangled snair. My friend Nick always sees him and reports to me he said you wouldn't like how he looks now. I don't see him only for looks anyway...but he best still have abs lol. Wiry.
Damn true north is a spinning compass. Around and around this earth spins and they are gone from me. Could be dreary, by with the way my stars make love to the universe, I know everything is gonna be alright...
I asked my neighbor what he would think about a female writing about him for fours years and making a character out of him. He basically said he would like it and be flattered. It's something alright. Love is weird. My mind is weird. My heart is weird.
Being married to a ghost? Well I can't feel Jake with me anymore. His spirit made love to me in the lockdown like all the first night I came from the lake. He really comforted me and cuddled me and made me feel safe. And I could feel him breathing next to me. What a powerful experience to have! But there is this tangible part of me that knows he wouldn't bind me to ghostly vows. I think it was more of a promise to take care of me and let me know how he loves me. Thank you God for letting me feel so loved and adored. I said I was gonna have a date with Jake and I did! Love can raise the dead! This is kinda a miraculous story and I am glad I am a writer right now. But it's also disappointing it wasn't true. Very much. There's my real tears again...can't believe they were gone all those years. How does ones soul stop producing tears?
I am not a vixen today...I am a needy little girl that needs an angel. I fear that Adam is too far gone in drugs I would want to hold him and nurse him back to health. He was always anti drugs so I don't understand why? Why would he choose that? It breaks my heart so much. It's the Devils drug...my enemy's tangled snair. My friend Nick always sees him and reports to me he said you wouldn't like how he looks now. I don't see him only for looks anyway...but he best still have abs lol. Wiry.
Damn true north is a spinning compass. Around and around this earth spins and they are gone from me. Could be dreary, by with the way my stars make love to the universe, I know everything is gonna be alright...
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