Never, ever, ever say you feel like "just dying" when you are in jail. Just don't...trust me on this. Even if you are just casually commenting on the situation at hand...don't do it!!! Especially if a guard is close by! I am warning you just keep these thoughts to yourself!
They strip you naked and make you wear this disgusting foam thing called a "turtle suit" and throw you in a holding cell! I was in there waiting for psych for eight hours. They do not give you anything to calm you down either??? the fuk you say?
My first time in jail I was in psychosis channeling my past from conception to present day and I decided that I was Pearl and my mother was Hester Prynne and my birth father gave us the "Welfare Scarlett Letter!" I even got a letter "A" and I was gonna iron it on my birthday dress for my one year! OMG!!! I hadn't really slept in about six days when I was brought in. I had done my fourth step and was processing that. It wasn't a choice to not sleep well, it just happened. Not a good mind set to take into jail! My mind was going through my life like a computer chip and piecing it all together...its was legit. OH and I was wearing Adams t-shirt when they took me to jail, lol. That's funny.
So there I was tripping balls! My cellie would not talk to me at all. And I was full blown! Wide awake my first two days in jail. Didn't know what to do. When the door unlocked, I jumped out of the cell like a rabid dog when it opened and ran up to the guard! LADY you have got to give me something like right now! Shut my brain off! A shot! A pill! Anything! I'm so used to the psych ward right? So I look to my right and there is a Mexican Lesbian staring at me, like what the fuk girl??? So I look at her...then I look at the guard and I say "well if you can't give me anything then can she knock me the fuk out?" And I was pointing at her! Damn! Seeings how you can't talk like that in jail I was told to go back to my cell...I apologized and gave the "Sexy Mexy" my pizzas I had ordered the day I left and saw her around many times after, but I am pretty sure that was a memorable moment for all!
And then it happened! This. I went back to my cell and God told me that was my issue. That I don't want to feel my own pain. Because my life and choices, hurt BAD. I didn't want to process that. I want to be knocked the fuk out... I always had wanted to be "blacked out" and not feel shit. Not feel the things that were happening to me. And damn that was it for me...like the hugest breakthrough of my sobriety in a fukn jail cell right? Boldly CRAY! And then I got put in with a chatty meth addict and all was well in my princess world! I remember working out by myself in the yard! lol. That's what you do in the yard huh? I watch movies!!! What a dork!
As you can imagine I was not popular in jail. At all. Very awkward. Not cool. Didn't know much about the drug world...didn't think drugs and stealing was cool at all. Didn't want to brag about why I was there. Five times lol!!! Twice for the same thing...once as a violation of the court and once as a felony! Just for saying don't be scared "let me explain" at a coffee shop three blocks from my house! the fuk? There will be no explaining your crazy ass girl! Denied! Go to jail...go directly to jail. Do not pass Go!
Lucky that I had a friend in there. She hooked me up with shampoo and a hair tie...that was the second time I think. She badass scary tough chick...grew up on the rez. Shaved head kinda German Nazi look...and we were not "friends" when we first met. She calls me persistent in wanting her friendship, lol...and totally makes fun of me for it. My lack of common sense etiquette pissed her off once and she got up from the table we were sitting at and it scared me...I'm like ah fuk there's gonna be a riot!!! LOL. Gladly she is one of my best friends today, and it was her baby shower I went to the other night, ah!!!
I am laughing so hard at me in jail...but really that's why cause I am not really a criminal. I don't think like a criminal and all this experience was the oddest shit! So yeah I recommend not going there with the wanting to "DYE in jail!" I'm punny! And that was the most disgusting thing I have ever done for love!!! LOL. Filthy creepy crawling germ infested Turtle Suit! Yeah baby! Thats hott!
I'm laughing now, but it really was a hard eight hours. Im not a crook!!!
They strip you naked and make you wear this disgusting foam thing called a "turtle suit" and throw you in a holding cell! I was in there waiting for psych for eight hours. They do not give you anything to calm you down either??? the fuk you say?
My first time in jail I was in psychosis channeling my past from conception to present day and I decided that I was Pearl and my mother was Hester Prynne and my birth father gave us the "Welfare Scarlett Letter!" I even got a letter "A" and I was gonna iron it on my birthday dress for my one year! OMG!!! I hadn't really slept in about six days when I was brought in. I had done my fourth step and was processing that. It wasn't a choice to not sleep well, it just happened. Not a good mind set to take into jail! My mind was going through my life like a computer chip and piecing it all together...its was legit. OH and I was wearing Adams t-shirt when they took me to jail, lol. That's funny.
So there I was tripping balls! My cellie would not talk to me at all. And I was full blown! Wide awake my first two days in jail. Didn't know what to do. When the door unlocked, I jumped out of the cell like a rabid dog when it opened and ran up to the guard! LADY you have got to give me something like right now! Shut my brain off! A shot! A pill! Anything! I'm so used to the psych ward right? So I look to my right and there is a Mexican Lesbian staring at me, like what the fuk girl??? So I look at her...then I look at the guard and I say "well if you can't give me anything then can she knock me the fuk out?" And I was pointing at her! Damn! Seeings how you can't talk like that in jail I was told to go back to my cell...I apologized and gave the "Sexy Mexy" my pizzas I had ordered the day I left and saw her around many times after, but I am pretty sure that was a memorable moment for all!
And then it happened! This. I went back to my cell and God told me that was my issue. That I don't want to feel my own pain. Because my life and choices, hurt BAD. I didn't want to process that. I want to be knocked the fuk out... I always had wanted to be "blacked out" and not feel shit. Not feel the things that were happening to me. And damn that was it for me...like the hugest breakthrough of my sobriety in a fukn jail cell right? Boldly CRAY! And then I got put in with a chatty meth addict and all was well in my princess world! I remember working out by myself in the yard! lol. That's what you do in the yard huh? I watch movies!!! What a dork!
As you can imagine I was not popular in jail. At all. Very awkward. Not cool. Didn't know much about the drug world...didn't think drugs and stealing was cool at all. Didn't want to brag about why I was there. Five times lol!!! Twice for the same thing...once as a violation of the court and once as a felony! Just for saying don't be scared "let me explain" at a coffee shop three blocks from my house! the fuk? There will be no explaining your crazy ass girl! Denied! Go to jail...go directly to jail. Do not pass Go!
Lucky that I had a friend in there. She hooked me up with shampoo and a hair tie...that was the second time I think. She badass scary tough chick...grew up on the rez. Shaved head kinda German Nazi look...and we were not "friends" when we first met. She calls me persistent in wanting her friendship, lol...and totally makes fun of me for it. My lack of common sense etiquette pissed her off once and she got up from the table we were sitting at and it scared me...I'm like ah fuk there's gonna be a riot!!! LOL. Gladly she is one of my best friends today, and it was her baby shower I went to the other night, ah!!!
I am laughing so hard at me in jail...but really that's why cause I am not really a criminal. I don't think like a criminal and all this experience was the oddest shit! So yeah I recommend not going there with the wanting to "DYE in jail!" I'm punny! And that was the most disgusting thing I have ever done for love!!! LOL. Filthy creepy crawling germ infested Turtle Suit! Yeah baby! Thats hott!
I'm laughing now, but it really was a hard eight hours. Im not a crook!!!
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