Ok let's just say I have had alot of support through this but obviously its not the right kind, or what I need anymore. First of all I need a new therapist that doesn't say "that's a nice fantasy Miranda," when I talk about the spiritual realm. He always makes me talk about "reality" and I guess that helps me stay "well" but does not answer shit for me or help deal with what I go through in other realms. I know for a fact that we deal with the spiritual realm on the daily and I think that the church and my therapist really ignore that aspect of life! So my therapist has helped with cognitive stuff and relating to the world in a healthy way...but its like every time I want to talk psychosis he shuts me down. Three years of cognitive is enough for me!
And then here I am with this fantastic story of recovery and healing and I am a believer...but they'd rather Keep Up With the Kardashians'. Seriously? Well I haven't really been going to a church through all this and I have some different ideas now, than the churches I have been to, but c'mon! I stopped going to church because I called them for help after I went to jail in 2013 and the secretary that knows me because I went there for 8 years says to me..."sounds like you're making bad choices and its something you need to walk out on your own...I'll pray for you" Yeah choices when you are insane are not that great, I learned that! But like what the fuk? And that was the mega popular church in town! I'm a little turned off by church let me tell you! But that is probably where my story would be received well. Minus the cussing and sex of course. Although I can't say I was healed from the PTSD without mentioning the always and forever in my memory love making, lol.
I also thought that maybe I should start sending my story to magazines like Psychology today and Bipolar Magazine...The Grapevine...etc. I don't know why I haven't yet. I guess I was waiting to be discovered, because I think the story speaks for itself and I have written it all down and why the hell aren't people amazed by it?
And then I think maybe its only amazing to me cause I am the only one that knows all the things that happened in my mind? I'm the only one that can say yeah I've exsisted in demon realms randomly my whole life and lived...and that don't mean shit to someone who has never lived there. No point of reference! No point of reference about experiencing a realm of existence without sickness in the world for a month either??? Where I was famous and fabulously wealthy? And openly talking about these things just makes a you a lunatic...so why should I take that risk? But I do every day on a damn blog and no where else. Sure I drop little hints of it at meetings, but never much go into details.
So I guess I know I need more support with this. This is a big deal to me and a miracle and I am tired of feeling alone with it like a damn alien. So if there are any believers reading this that know there is a spiritual realm, a damn comment would be nice for starters. Just sayin.
Darn I wish I would have been a bitchy little teenager on Dr. Phil that says Cash me outside! Maybe all I need is a tagline??? Is that it?
Signed: Drowning in frustration in Montana
And then here I am with this fantastic story of recovery and healing and I am a believer...but they'd rather Keep Up With the Kardashians'. Seriously? Well I haven't really been going to a church through all this and I have some different ideas now, than the churches I have been to, but c'mon! I stopped going to church because I called them for help after I went to jail in 2013 and the secretary that knows me because I went there for 8 years says to me..."sounds like you're making bad choices and its something you need to walk out on your own...I'll pray for you" Yeah choices when you are insane are not that great, I learned that! But like what the fuk? And that was the mega popular church in town! I'm a little turned off by church let me tell you! But that is probably where my story would be received well. Minus the cussing and sex of course. Although I can't say I was healed from the PTSD without mentioning the always and forever in my memory love making, lol.
I also thought that maybe I should start sending my story to magazines like Psychology today and Bipolar Magazine...The Grapevine...etc. I don't know why I haven't yet. I guess I was waiting to be discovered, because I think the story speaks for itself and I have written it all down and why the hell aren't people amazed by it?
And then I think maybe its only amazing to me cause I am the only one that knows all the things that happened in my mind? I'm the only one that can say yeah I've exsisted in demon realms randomly my whole life and lived...and that don't mean shit to someone who has never lived there. No point of reference! No point of reference about experiencing a realm of existence without sickness in the world for a month either??? Where I was famous and fabulously wealthy? And openly talking about these things just makes a you a lunatic...so why should I take that risk? But I do every day on a damn blog and no where else. Sure I drop little hints of it at meetings, but never much go into details.
So I guess I know I need more support with this. This is a big deal to me and a miracle and I am tired of feeling alone with it like a damn alien. So if there are any believers reading this that know there is a spiritual realm, a damn comment would be nice for starters. Just sayin.
Darn I wish I would have been a bitchy little teenager on Dr. Phil that says Cash me outside! Maybe all I need is a tagline??? Is that it?
Signed: Drowning in frustration in Montana
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