I am fricken obsessed with my crazy. I want to understand it so bad...its so intriguing! But I wonder if its always going to be elusive and doctors simple answers do not satisfy me...at all. It's so hard to process and I am fine now, just fine!
Having said that I am extremely self obsessed lately and I am not always like that. It's freaking me out that I stopped needing people in my life. Maybe I don't needy them but maybe they need me? Maybe I can be of service finally? I actually got a sponsee last night! I've never done that before. I said in the meeting that I've been isolating myself to the point it scares me and I need to get out of myself. I also want to take meetings to the psych ward again. If I can be an inspiration anywhere it is there.
And my blogging is out of control lol...I wonder if that means if I drank I would be plastered alot lately? There is a correlation! This really saved my bacon...But it's getting stale and the eggs are already eaten. Good language lol!
I'ma chill on this a bit and see how I do. It's too much thinking...I wish I could go brain dead for awhile and still live. I have a meditation app but as you can prolly guess I suck at it! And my dreaming doesn't let me rest then either. I could prolly tell my doc all this and she would prescribe yet another thing to make me not me! I take two meds...The less the better, I think. I was on something last year that made me have no personality...That was painful for me and why I relapsed I am sure of it. I just want to be myself!
Well like I said I'ma chill. Not so many blogs. Don't cry! I will be back! Haha..And maybe I will find other stuff to do...And be a friend...not need a friend! Wow what a concept!
This is what being spiritually fit means and I am glad I have the wisdom to know the difference and the courage to DO something different! Still telling ya all recovery is some good shit!
Much love!!!
Night!
Having said that I am extremely self obsessed lately and I am not always like that. It's freaking me out that I stopped needing people in my life. Maybe I don't needy them but maybe they need me? Maybe I can be of service finally? I actually got a sponsee last night! I've never done that before. I said in the meeting that I've been isolating myself to the point it scares me and I need to get out of myself. I also want to take meetings to the psych ward again. If I can be an inspiration anywhere it is there.
And my blogging is out of control lol...I wonder if that means if I drank I would be plastered alot lately? There is a correlation! This really saved my bacon...But it's getting stale and the eggs are already eaten. Good language lol!
I'ma chill on this a bit and see how I do. It's too much thinking...I wish I could go brain dead for awhile and still live. I have a meditation app but as you can prolly guess I suck at it! And my dreaming doesn't let me rest then either. I could prolly tell my doc all this and she would prescribe yet another thing to make me not me! I take two meds...The less the better, I think. I was on something last year that made me have no personality...That was painful for me and why I relapsed I am sure of it. I just want to be myself!
Well like I said I'ma chill. Not so many blogs. Don't cry! I will be back! Haha..And maybe I will find other stuff to do...And be a friend...not need a friend! Wow what a concept!
This is what being spiritually fit means and I am glad I have the wisdom to know the difference and the courage to DO something different! Still telling ya all recovery is some good shit!
Much love!!!
Night!
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