Ok that's that can't be a wee little girl anymore. I've spent enough energy on "heroin" to last a lifetime...It is what it is soul mate or fantastical romantic saga or not...I'm gonna be with the dude that likes me. No wondering about that. Just makes sense...And I am not gonna write about Adam anymore. Bacon's stale and the eggs are eaten and I have to be a grown up dude.
Oh well my heart skipped a beat for awhile there. Really truly does in a fantastical way that he doesn't care to know. I give. This has been a helluva alot of head game of my own doing and a pretty amazing experience to have and I am great full for it to him for changing my life...Always. I think I just needed to love him to live through all that I went through and it worked! It fricken did for me what I needed it to do! All God's plan for me weaving in and out my own story of survival.
I will always love him. There's no way I couldn't. Nothing would ever change that for me. He could get pissed with what I wrote and send me to prison and I would still find a way to love him. It's just a very real part of me! And that's of God not me!
I think this all was the best time in my life! I am so alive and so fulfilled by knowing how strong I am. I went through hell in my mind as well as court rooms and such and I am a better person for it. So amazing how that worked! It really did so much!
I want him to be at peace knowing he did help me and saved my life...Many times. But heroin isn't good for you! I don't know how to get off heroin, except I found someone that is more of a mood stabilizer...That seriously digs me even when I push him away with all my might. That's pretty hardcore!
I don't know what my blog will be about anymore. But I don't think it will be about a felony stalker. I might leave it up awhile it's been busy lately and that's cool! I want to keep MirandadyeBlackInk.com as a website and business but I am gonna take all the blogs from this saga and make a book! I don't know if I will publish it. I mostly want it for my kids when they grow up!
It's been a helluva ride...Holy shit!!! I dont think that book I was writing three years ago gets an ending. I ain't cray anymore...And the story left me. I got good feedback on it in the writing workshop, but I really don't know what happens to the characters anymore and I want to stop presuming things.
I guess I am just tired of this phase of my life. It was bound to happen...And it just took time and sobriety and growth to say really it's all this amazing bullshit! Whatever my head did to protect me from what happened between us was what needed to happen. And I'm ok with it.
I love myself and though I am ridiculous at times that's all a journey I skipped and never experienced because of alcohol...I got to relive my teenage years! Be totally nuts over a guy! He is my treasure in my heart always.
But I need a mood stabilizer!!!
Oh well my heart skipped a beat for awhile there. Really truly does in a fantastical way that he doesn't care to know. I give. This has been a helluva alot of head game of my own doing and a pretty amazing experience to have and I am great full for it to him for changing my life...Always. I think I just needed to love him to live through all that I went through and it worked! It fricken did for me what I needed it to do! All God's plan for me weaving in and out my own story of survival.
I will always love him. There's no way I couldn't. Nothing would ever change that for me. He could get pissed with what I wrote and send me to prison and I would still find a way to love him. It's just a very real part of me! And that's of God not me!
I think this all was the best time in my life! I am so alive and so fulfilled by knowing how strong I am. I went through hell in my mind as well as court rooms and such and I am a better person for it. So amazing how that worked! It really did so much!
I want him to be at peace knowing he did help me and saved my life...Many times. But heroin isn't good for you! I don't know how to get off heroin, except I found someone that is more of a mood stabilizer...That seriously digs me even when I push him away with all my might. That's pretty hardcore!
I don't know what my blog will be about anymore. But I don't think it will be about a felony stalker. I might leave it up awhile it's been busy lately and that's cool! I want to keep MirandadyeBlackInk.com as a website and business but I am gonna take all the blogs from this saga and make a book! I don't know if I will publish it. I mostly want it for my kids when they grow up!
It's been a helluva ride...Holy shit!!! I dont think that book I was writing three years ago gets an ending. I ain't cray anymore...And the story left me. I got good feedback on it in the writing workshop, but I really don't know what happens to the characters anymore and I want to stop presuming things.
I guess I am just tired of this phase of my life. It was bound to happen...And it just took time and sobriety and growth to say really it's all this amazing bullshit! Whatever my head did to protect me from what happened between us was what needed to happen. And I'm ok with it.
I love myself and though I am ridiculous at times that's all a journey I skipped and never experienced because of alcohol...I got to relive my teenage years! Be totally nuts over a guy! He is my treasure in my heart always.
But I need a mood stabilizer!!!
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