I took a right at a red light...when the sign clearly said not to. The light was not changing and my patience grew thin and there were no cars coming. This is a confessional right??? I think I like doing this because there is so much in my head that I don't go into in the real world. People just do not have time for the whole story...busy busy. And mostly I have this desire to feel understood even though no one really ever talks to me about the things I write except my mom. I get laughed at for even mentioning my dreams and goals to people...so I just don't. They laugh, so that's how I know I have good dreams.
A little bummed about Bozeman. It was a cool thought...get away...run away. Be as cool as I "wanna be." A little bummed about the Peer Mentor stuff too because there is a bunch of stuff you have to pay out of your paycheck to be able to do it. That's why its $52 an hour. But hell where there is a will there is a way, right? I would be a good peer mentor for people with dual diagnosis. There was a guy high at the meeting tonight having trouble with reality. I told him that I have trouble with reality and I don't even do drugs...so if I can do this sober thing, anyone can. And I said this right in front of "Applesauce." I was proud of myself. However, I've recognized listening to "Applesauce" more, that he has been through a lot and has really good recovery...but just stop walking like a rooster dude! It so reminds me of my ex husband. Maybe that's why I am so up in arms...I'm just "evil." As in "been hated" by the entire world population at the bottom of the pit of hell. Just a few times now...talk about good for the self esteem!!!
Well the meeting was really good. It was about the alcoholic's magnifying mind. I certainly have lots to say about that, but I rarely get called on. I think it might have been my share about being "addicted to love" that did me in, cause its been awhile. LOL. I like just being able to listen to other people's reasoning on things. Makes me feel cozy...and normal. And yes I do get a little bent that I came back there after almost four years, and I had relapsed...so where I do have lots of wisdom it is totally discredited by that fop aw. Whatever??? Well yeah so it's a big meeting and I am more of a writer, than a public speaker...and once I went off about dollhouse stuff and made very little sense...so yeah. Its ok. I like to listen. Plus I do get to share in a small noon meeting like every other day. Its just all right...all of it.
I do have a magnifying mind, but I recognize it, and even make fun of myself for it. Gonna live in a mansion...gonna have the option between Adam and Ben Affleck....gonna be on Ellen. I'm really just being goofy...and playful. And sometimes I am not. Like for real I want to be blessed for my effort...and my faith tells me I AM already, and that I will be more! That's why I do this thing called sobriety...to increase my bounty right? "Bounty on the Booty"...I think that's a poem I wrote lol, I will have to look that one up! Bounty On the Booty 2015
I didn't start my book today. Too much happened again. THE MAIL. Damn checking the mail twice a month is not a good pattern! LOL. Its just so damn far away from my door and you need a key....and damn damn damn that's a shit excuse! I don't think I would ever be a daily male checker...tehe, but um maybe weekly? That would be better.
So yeah on Friday I called like 20 lawyers and left messages. Maybe that's why my phone was ringing all day...and I couldn't answer that, because the screen is shattered to smitherings. I am gonna ask God for discernment on that...maybe I am going too fast. I did talk to a lawyer on the phone for about a half hour. He said I do have a case, but that he is slammed right now. He said call back in a couple months if I don't find anyone. And my old laywer is too busy too. And if I do this is gonna be a big case more than likely...yes...more than likely. I'm really not making this a secret...not at all.
Kinda putting it in BLACK INK.
A little bummed about Bozeman. It was a cool thought...get away...run away. Be as cool as I "wanna be." A little bummed about the Peer Mentor stuff too because there is a bunch of stuff you have to pay out of your paycheck to be able to do it. That's why its $52 an hour. But hell where there is a will there is a way, right? I would be a good peer mentor for people with dual diagnosis. There was a guy high at the meeting tonight having trouble with reality. I told him that I have trouble with reality and I don't even do drugs...so if I can do this sober thing, anyone can. And I said this right in front of "Applesauce." I was proud of myself. However, I've recognized listening to "Applesauce" more, that he has been through a lot and has really good recovery...but just stop walking like a rooster dude! It so reminds me of my ex husband. Maybe that's why I am so up in arms...I'm just "evil." As in "been hated" by the entire world population at the bottom of the pit of hell. Just a few times now...talk about good for the self esteem!!!
Well the meeting was really good. It was about the alcoholic's magnifying mind. I certainly have lots to say about that, but I rarely get called on. I think it might have been my share about being "addicted to love" that did me in, cause its been awhile. LOL. I like just being able to listen to other people's reasoning on things. Makes me feel cozy...and normal. And yes I do get a little bent that I came back there after almost four years, and I had relapsed...so where I do have lots of wisdom it is totally discredited by that fop aw. Whatever??? Well yeah so it's a big meeting and I am more of a writer, than a public speaker...and once I went off about dollhouse stuff and made very little sense...so yeah. Its ok. I like to listen. Plus I do get to share in a small noon meeting like every other day. Its just all right...all of it.
I do have a magnifying mind, but I recognize it, and even make fun of myself for it. Gonna live in a mansion...gonna have the option between Adam and Ben Affleck....gonna be on Ellen. I'm really just being goofy...and playful. And sometimes I am not. Like for real I want to be blessed for my effort...and my faith tells me I AM already, and that I will be more! That's why I do this thing called sobriety...to increase my bounty right? "Bounty on the Booty"...I think that's a poem I wrote lol, I will have to look that one up! Bounty On the Booty 2015
I didn't start my book today. Too much happened again. THE MAIL. Damn checking the mail twice a month is not a good pattern! LOL. Its just so damn far away from my door and you need a key....and damn damn damn that's a shit excuse! I don't think I would ever be a daily male checker...tehe, but um maybe weekly? That would be better.
So yeah on Friday I called like 20 lawyers and left messages. Maybe that's why my phone was ringing all day...and I couldn't answer that, because the screen is shattered to smitherings. I am gonna ask God for discernment on that...maybe I am going too fast. I did talk to a lawyer on the phone for about a half hour. He said I do have a case, but that he is slammed right now. He said call back in a couple months if I don't find anyone. And my old laywer is too busy too. And if I do this is gonna be a big case more than likely...yes...more than likely. I'm really not making this a secret...not at all.
Kinda putting it in BLACK INK.
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