Live

Good to Be Alive

Jason Gray

Lyrics

Hold on
Is this really the life I'm living?
'Cause I don't feel like I deserve it
Every day that I wake, every breath that I take you’ve given
So right here, right now
While the sun is shining down

I wanna live like there's no tomorrow
Love like I'm on borrowed time
It's good to be alive, yeah

Hold on
If the life that we've been given
Is made beautiful in the living
And the joy that we get brings joy to the heart of the giver
Then right here, right now
This is the song I'm singing out

I wanna live like there's no tomorrow
Love like I'm on borrowed time
It's good to be alive
[x2]

I won’t take it for granted
I won’t waste another second
All I want is to give you
A life well lived, to say “thank you”

I like those lyrics.  My life is exciting and filled with energy.  I'm not allowed in any "fun" places anymore and somehow my life is good!  And I am obviously filled with passion for writing no matter if nothing ever comes of it.  God gave me amazing life experience.  And all the ways alcohol made me weak are drifting away. I'm generally happy, joyous and free. It feels so good!!! I never would have thought it possible to be content in poverty.  But I have been for six years...It was a struggle but God changed my greed into contentment.  Sure I say I want a mansion and to be rich from my writing...But if that never happens I know I will still be content.  I am super pumped I have rebuilt my credit during all this!  So proud of myself for that!  Geez you go without and pay your bills on time amazing shit happens!  I haven't been cray for all of sobriety I have been functional...I just think if someone would have told me this is what's gonna happen to you when you stop drinking I would have chose death...It's been horrendously painful to me all this. But somehow because I loved it made it less painful...Does that make sense?

I wouldn't change it if I could though cause it's worth it. Sober me is much deeper and real than I ever was drinking. I wanna live like there's no tomorrow...Cause for me there might not be. I was told there was a chance I could be in psychosis permanently. Because I was told it gets worse with age.  I wanna believe I am done with that process...that it's all ironed out in me.  But that's not something I get to know for sure.  I read a book about psychosis recovery last year and it said it's very rare.  I feel healed and whole but all in the same sometimes I think God wants me to see what I see and when.

I don't know His plans but I trust him.  And I thought what if there is someone watching my blog tracking things I've said and planning to arrest me for it?  My God is so big that I know he would walk me through that too. I feel unafraid of this life. What will happen will happen and be God's will for my life.  I feel it important enough to me to share my story and that God is leading me to do it, so he takes care of his children.  And we are all his children.

I'm dynamic...I said that in my last post. But I just feel so blessed to be exactly how God created me to be...No more alcohol destroying me ever again.  Please God let me never forget what you have carried me through to be sober and whole!!!  To thine own self be true!!! I am amazed at how the program works!  

Shout it from the rooftops! Saved my life!!!

See I do know how to turn a frown upside down!