Sometimes I forget I am a believer in Jesus. Kinda sad but I really think my meds shut off alot of that connection for me. But faith is not what you see...But damn I forget I have seen everything to believe! I've had my station on heavy angry music for a few months, and now I am sick of those songs and back to the Christian music station.
I've never exemplified a standard Christian model...No example of what to do here... except my story of healing is fricken like Wow! So God used a non believer to heal me from a rape that had happened 20 years before. I was a drunk hussie for so long. No self respect...Didn't know I was a beautiful woman at all. Rape does it's thing to your mind, body and soul, and that was my path for so long.
But God didn't want that for me! And that is the power placed in my life by the One who loves me most! My Hope is in God! The way I was being used up was killing me and then I got sober and three months later bam, God brought someone gentle into my life. I don't know the how's or whys of it completely just that I was healed!!! And I protect that! I'm not saying I am saving myself for marriage or anything...That would be giving some serious props to God if I could do that. I don't know if he requires that from us...I never got that chance and he still adores me and blesses me anyway!
So the standards for believers always scared the "fuk" out of me...I never felt I fit in at church though I tried. But if you truly believe in who Jesus died for...Then you know it was for murderers and prostitutes! Right? That is clearly what was said in the Bible. And felons. And pastors. Sinners and saints alike. Godlovesall!
So I am so sorry I forget this aspect of my life to share! What the fuk? Yes I am a cussing Christian. It happens to the best of us. Sorry Mom!
I've never exemplified a standard Christian model...No example of what to do here... except my story of healing is fricken like Wow! So God used a non believer to heal me from a rape that had happened 20 years before. I was a drunk hussie for so long. No self respect...Didn't know I was a beautiful woman at all. Rape does it's thing to your mind, body and soul, and that was my path for so long.
But God didn't want that for me! And that is the power placed in my life by the One who loves me most! My Hope is in God! The way I was being used up was killing me and then I got sober and three months later bam, God brought someone gentle into my life. I don't know the how's or whys of it completely just that I was healed!!! And I protect that! I'm not saying I am saving myself for marriage or anything...That would be giving some serious props to God if I could do that. I don't know if he requires that from us...I never got that chance and he still adores me and blesses me anyway!
So the standards for believers always scared the "fuk" out of me...I never felt I fit in at church though I tried. But if you truly believe in who Jesus died for...Then you know it was for murderers and prostitutes! Right? That is clearly what was said in the Bible. And felons. And pastors. Sinners and saints alike. Godlovesall!
So I am so sorry I forget this aspect of my life to share! What the fuk? Yes I am a cussing Christian. It happens to the best of us. Sorry Mom!
Comments