Well God laid the brick in that last one...Just happened to use a dude in my life to make it happen. My hero does have super powers though...Like all superheroes do. Like he can handle whatever kind of gold I happen to spin out from straw. But I'm confused today.
I'm just like I don't know. I don't know anymore what's real and what I've created. Cause there's a fracture there from four years ago when he went from sweet and affectionate to asshole...And that's where Cookoo bird flew the nest! Everyone knew I was psychotic and tripping balls that summer. I was hospitalized twice. That's the same month I texted seven times and my life has never been the same. So where I fractured in my soul about why he would do that to me...Be that cruel, telling people he was afraid for his life? That's what I don't understand. And I didn't accept he was that mean...Just did not accept it and decided he did it to help my recovery.
So I don't know shit about him. I make it all up based on what I felt for six weeks. And it all has been good for my healing but it's alot to make a superhero out of a man. There goes my hero he's ordinary by the Foo Fighters...Yep. Alot of pressure.
I think I am funny alot and sweetly great full. But really it wasn't him??? It was God that allowed me love him despite him being so hurtful to me. He said no for a lifetime...And I got to accept that. I go around every which way...Over and over because I lack courage and wisdom on this matter and I am afraid to lose my hero and what that will mean for my heart and passion. I simply do not know how to accept it. I can think of seasons of life and next chapters but I don't want to put the book down it's too good!
I am amazing with my imagination and I am funny and smart and my internal house is now a brick mansion and not glass...And I just don't know what to do next in this thing called life. Im really great full for all of it good and bad that shaped me so I know that I can treasure this time for the rest of my life!
But what the hell am I gonna do next???
I'm just like I don't know. I don't know anymore what's real and what I've created. Cause there's a fracture there from four years ago when he went from sweet and affectionate to asshole...And that's where Cookoo bird flew the nest! Everyone knew I was psychotic and tripping balls that summer. I was hospitalized twice. That's the same month I texted seven times and my life has never been the same. So where I fractured in my soul about why he would do that to me...Be that cruel, telling people he was afraid for his life? That's what I don't understand. And I didn't accept he was that mean...Just did not accept it and decided he did it to help my recovery.
So I don't know shit about him. I make it all up based on what I felt for six weeks. And it all has been good for my healing but it's alot to make a superhero out of a man. There goes my hero he's ordinary by the Foo Fighters...Yep. Alot of pressure.
I think I am funny alot and sweetly great full. But really it wasn't him??? It was God that allowed me love him despite him being so hurtful to me. He said no for a lifetime...And I got to accept that. I go around every which way...Over and over because I lack courage and wisdom on this matter and I am afraid to lose my hero and what that will mean for my heart and passion. I simply do not know how to accept it. I can think of seasons of life and next chapters but I don't want to put the book down it's too good!
I am amazing with my imagination and I am funny and smart and my internal house is now a brick mansion and not glass...And I just don't know what to do next in this thing called life. Im really great full for all of it good and bad that shaped me so I know that I can treasure this time for the rest of my life!
But what the hell am I gonna do next???
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