I wish we lived in an understanding society. Like hey I noticed you are going through something difficult and we are here to support you.
I remember calling a psychologist in Seattle and she was in shock that I was going through psychosis while being in trouble with the law. She said psychosis is difficult on its own but adding that on top is unbelievable. I guess I am much tougher than I ever knew.
I think my love story is terribly romantic and tragic of course. I think that my love never turning to hate says alot about me. And even though I loved a man for who I believed him to be, from what he taught me in our time together...I still have loved.
There may be alot of objections to this. It is what it is. I don't claim to have all the answers. I do know the courts view me as sick and dangerous. I say I do pretty damn well for what I have gone through.
Through all this I learned to love and accept myself. Whether society wants to accept me is another question. I still have alot of questions...But that's why life is a journey not a destination. Maybe someday I will understand my psychosis. Maybe it does have something to do with the end of the world and I've just gotten practice for what it is I am supposed to do.
God gives me alot! He must really like me!!! I forgive the people who don't understand...It's alot to digest and they have no point of reference. I'm really very blessed to be me and have a depth of character I never knew was possible!
Sometimes I feel so small and insignificant though and that's because other people try to tell me I am not special. Maybe special isn't the right word...Is gifted the right word? Different? Unique? Or maybe there's just not one word to describe me. I'm definitely deep!
I want to advocate. I want to be educated in psychology. I want to write more books! I shall do these things! But right now I am gonna take a nap!
I remember calling a psychologist in Seattle and she was in shock that I was going through psychosis while being in trouble with the law. She said psychosis is difficult on its own but adding that on top is unbelievable. I guess I am much tougher than I ever knew.
I think my love story is terribly romantic and tragic of course. I think that my love never turning to hate says alot about me. And even though I loved a man for who I believed him to be, from what he taught me in our time together...I still have loved.
There may be alot of objections to this. It is what it is. I don't claim to have all the answers. I do know the courts view me as sick and dangerous. I say I do pretty damn well for what I have gone through.
Through all this I learned to love and accept myself. Whether society wants to accept me is another question. I still have alot of questions...But that's why life is a journey not a destination. Maybe someday I will understand my psychosis. Maybe it does have something to do with the end of the world and I've just gotten practice for what it is I am supposed to do.
God gives me alot! He must really like me!!! I forgive the people who don't understand...It's alot to digest and they have no point of reference. I'm really very blessed to be me and have a depth of character I never knew was possible!
Sometimes I feel so small and insignificant though and that's because other people try to tell me I am not special. Maybe special isn't the right word...Is gifted the right word? Different? Unique? Or maybe there's just not one word to describe me. I'm definitely deep!
- On the surface I am your girl next door. And truly when I am not in psychosis I am pretty logical, smart and funny. If I wouldn't talk about my illness really no one could guess it. Oh by the way I once thought I was the most evil person to ever walk the earth...Lol.
I want to advocate. I want to be educated in psychology. I want to write more books! I shall do these things! But right now I am gonna take a nap!
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