Psychology Twisted 2014

9-24-14

I have never felt hurt by Adam.  That's probably not normal...well?  So first guy I love is throwing my ass in jail and calling me crazy and making me a felon over the deal.  So either God made it so I never felt hurt from him for a reason, or I am certainly a massachist.  I do suppose this is the wackiest outcome for a six week affair imaginable.  And being the first man to treat me gentle in 20 years he won the wacky prize. Like oh baby look what you won! My undying devotion to making you crazy too...coming on strong?  WelI might say I am definently a surprising surprise...a little more with that package! Did you know that by making love to me, you would unlock the underworld?  Haha.  Terrifying to say the least. And all I asked is that he do it again...I mean cmon!!!
So no have never been mad at Adam for his reaction. I have never thought to set fire to his house or even sneak in his house and hide in the closet naked. I was simply dealing with chemistry for the first time mixed with some mad crazy 35 year old hormones, and afore blatantly mentioned need for affection.
So there is the truth in stalking. Psychology Today.  I would say that 98.9% of the time I am just a normal female.  The crazy head lately is playing out my spirituality and wounds of the alcoholic battlefield not truly who i am or will be...at least I can just pretend I am the average girl next store,  right? I am anything but a bore, that is for sure.  Want to go direct air traffic on the rims tonight? Sometimes insanity is just pure joy!
I try to keep a good attitude as to not feed into the fear...its just better that way when you come out of it and realize just how crazy you were and just how much everyone knows it, and I am all together way to sober these past two years.  Holy shit, my life is alterered beyond my recognition...do you think they would let me be and ultrasound technician again? Haha...yikes I do not understand my life anymore.  Welcome to my Underworld.Adam fought off the Goblin King and all the little goblins straight to my heart, and he says no for a lifetime...oh the drama, the terror...the passion...the devotion.  The fairytale beyond all fairy tales.  The epic Lifetime original series of a psychotic lover in chains as she flings herself madly, jerking and drooling over this handsome stud because he is the one and only man in the world who knows how to hug her and she screams in agony, because she doesnt want him to be afraid, but unfortunently she knows that she's just a scosh bit much for this man..."but i just want a hug?" No.  The End. Rides Over.

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