Incapable

I'm kind of freaked. I don't need people like I used to. This is an upset to who I was for so many years. I like most people but realize that most of my relationships are surface level. And I don't mind being alone.
I really am much more cautious with people in general and I think that is a good thing to not trust so much.
Except for the blog lol!
Why I named this post incapable is that I've gone against my one year single thing already. I am trying to be in a relationship and I am incapable of feeling anything deep for him. I wonder if that part of me is too scared or broken but I just don't feel a thing yet. Maybe anything deep is simply way too much right now. I like him just fine and he is good to me, so I don't know why I don't have feelings. The old me would have soaked  that up. I wonder if thats normal after what I have been through but I am totally emotionally shut off.
Maybe I look for electricity and ecstasy in my belly and maybe that happens once in a life time and is fukn dangerous anyway! Maybe just a nice guy would be ok??? Maybe I would grow to have those things. Maybe my feelers are fukt! And rightly so!
It's gonna be best for me to stay single for a long time. Duh just do that! Duh.