Yep I'm guilty. I love someone. Yep guilty as fuk! And I have a mental illness...Guilty as fuk there too! I was told I would be done with my sentence next January...And he just casually says four more years? I hope he was just pissed at me about hitting the Po car. I'm sick of this shit! It seems a bit much. Like holy fuk seriously didn't mean to scare anybody. It's fukn scary for me!!! Wouldn't wish my burden on anybody!
And here I've got these big life balls...Trying to face everything and they won't stop! They just won't stop! I'm sorry I was made this way...I'm sorry I can't even express how terrifying the things I experience are! God how am I still alive? And I am being punished for falling in love...Does anyone realize how fukn painful it is?
Forgive me for having a mental illness...It tortures me in more ways then one. My only solace is I know one day God is gonna explain it all to me...I will be sitting on his lap and call him daddy.
I'm so tired of every time I get ahead because I push myself to get there and be well....This shit is never-ending...All because of a love that brought me so much joy. This world is unfair and cruel.
Comments