At Your Expense

At your expense you gave me life.
At your bidding I walked the line.
When I was filled with fear you gave me courage.
When I wanted to die of embarrassment I wrote it down to you..And in doing so it lost its power.
At your expense I grew up.
At your expense I found boundaries.
Because of your words I never gave up.
Because of who you were to me, I know you cared.
You told me I needed to do time.
You said no for a lifetime.
Gave me no hope of reconciliation...No way to be attached.
No way to touch you.
No way to see you smile...No encouragement. No affirmations.
And I scared you. Broke your trust. Trampled over you with my needs.
At your expense I found me brave to face me.
To never call it quits.
And I can feel you with me... Still. You never left me.
Our souls kissed and I am forever changed.
Because of you I can believe in myself.
You taught me so much.
Where I was weak something I don't understand poured into me and filled me up.
I am determined to survive.
To thrive.
To live.
And I can never repay you for the things I learned by you staying away.
Time.
I don't know why you did it but I will believe it was for good.
I am no longer ashamed of me.
I am confident and know what I am capable of...
All At your expense.
And if I was a millionaire I could never repay you for the things earned through knowing you.
I am gonna have a great fukn life now.
Thank you for a lifetime and the after.
And for accounts and fairytales that can never be repaid...There is a dream in my heart and a song on my lips that will never forget the best time of my life.
I was so exposed! And felt it all! Thank you God for making me a felony stalker!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for that love!  Thank you so much God for making me capable of that love inside me!  No matter what people said...Thank you God for my solidarity on this matter because I had always been jello! No more! I am whole!!! I know who I am!!!
Signed by a Recovered Felon!!!

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