I am simply astounded at the ways I have changed in sobriety. It is so freaking amazing!!! I am so tough without my substance! I drank to not feel my own pain and be happy all the time. That quit working during my divorce. But feeling pain brings growth...Who knew??? Lol.
I used to need everyone's opinion of me in order to know what to think of myself...And through all this I was gonna die if I listened to others opinions of me. I have a freaking self concept! A solid one! A love for myself that isn't based on my accomplishments!
And I am so proud of myself for moving on from Dragon! I barely think about him??? Like how is this happening? How the hell did I get so independent and strong? Where is this coming from? So many attributes inside me I never knew I had!
How does it work??? The promises are true! The promises are true! I have been painstaking about this phase of my development and I know a new freedom and a new happiness!
Eeeeeeeeeekkkkkk! Recognizing your work has paid off is like the best thing ever! Damn it's great to be alive!
And yesterday I felt a little blue in the afternoon and I didn't fear it. Feelings are not bad they just are there to tell you something is wrong. Or maybe not. In that case I just needed to eat, lol.
Well greenhouse work was cancelled today...So I have no excuse to not make it to the gym.
I used to need everyone's opinion of me in order to know what to think of myself...And through all this I was gonna die if I listened to others opinions of me. I have a freaking self concept! A solid one! A love for myself that isn't based on my accomplishments!
And I am so proud of myself for moving on from Dragon! I barely think about him??? Like how is this happening? How the hell did I get so independent and strong? Where is this coming from? So many attributes inside me I never knew I had!
How does it work??? The promises are true! The promises are true! I have been painstaking about this phase of my development and I know a new freedom and a new happiness!
Eeeeeeeeeekkkkkk! Recognizing your work has paid off is like the best thing ever! Damn it's great to be alive!
And yesterday I felt a little blue in the afternoon and I didn't fear it. Feelings are not bad they just are there to tell you something is wrong. Or maybe not. In that case I just needed to eat, lol.
Well greenhouse work was cancelled today...So I have no excuse to not make it to the gym.
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