Busy being well! Lots going on and being social in AA again! It feels so good to have a life outside of Dragon. I am feeling so much better and recognize that I had based my emotions off of my relationship with him for so long. What a relief to let go! We still talk, but just not as much. And I am not constantly worrying about how to get at him.
He let me know that the reasons he knew I wasn't the one for him, were from over a year ago, when I was sick. It was just too much for him and I had him pay my rent. That was kind of disheartening because I have been recovering for a year and made quite alot of progress and have a job...I think doing pretty well for the most part. And so it went on an extra year even with Dragon knowing it was never going to work out for him. Unfortunately I was all in, trying too hard to make it work.
My abandonment issues have not been triggered with Dragon. I know he loves me in his own way and that we will always be special to each other. It was just a season in life...and though it seemed to drag on forever, my therapist has always called it a "transitional relationship."
So I have been busy! I joined an online writing workshop with other writers so that I can get a review of what I have for a novel. And I have been reaching out in AA to make new friends and am headed to a retreat for AA this weekend! I've been going to lots of meetings and I am just reinvigorated with the program and gearing up to work on my fourth step again! I am also starting a bellydance class tonight, so we will see how that goes! I have been dieting and exercising and actually am losing some weight this time! WOW! Busy!
It does feel so good!
He let me know that the reasons he knew I wasn't the one for him, were from over a year ago, when I was sick. It was just too much for him and I had him pay my rent. That was kind of disheartening because I have been recovering for a year and made quite alot of progress and have a job...I think doing pretty well for the most part. And so it went on an extra year even with Dragon knowing it was never going to work out for him. Unfortunately I was all in, trying too hard to make it work.
My abandonment issues have not been triggered with Dragon. I know he loves me in his own way and that we will always be special to each other. It was just a season in life...and though it seemed to drag on forever, my therapist has always called it a "transitional relationship."
So I have been busy! I joined an online writing workshop with other writers so that I can get a review of what I have for a novel. And I have been reaching out in AA to make new friends and am headed to a retreat for AA this weekend! I've been going to lots of meetings and I am just reinvigorated with the program and gearing up to work on my fourth step again! I am also starting a bellydance class tonight, so we will see how that goes! I have been dieting and exercising and actually am losing some weight this time! WOW! Busy!
It does feel so good!
Comments