In all rationale I have no idea what it means to be blind. But I will say I feel blinded spiritually. You see I can no longer say that the people I see are in fact what I am seeing! God has blighted my vision to see spiritually. I can no longer trust "reality," in one fraction.
I have the ever present sense that I am not concrete in this world. I have seen that I can trust no one in one reality, and everyone in another. I can no longer view the things I see in a simple way. The way that judgement and categorizing people comes into mind so quickly has been swept away. I can no longer classify anyone at any time and have it safely stored in my psyche. This means I am being guided souly by an internal compass. I have deemed it a messed up compass due to all my years of drinking, but non the less I have a compass.
In fact, I am not even real sure what my own body looks like right now! How odd! Nothing tangible and superficial here. AND the sick and deformed of this world? They are the spectrum I see in a twist of beauty. I have no acceptance of affirmation based on looks! Zero. It is as if I truly have to produce my joy and contentment from what is inside of me. AND what is of God.
I was at the Mental Health Center waiting in the lobby for an hour on Monday and it made me frightful to think that what I was seeing wasn't real!!! That the sick and lame, were not in fact who they appeared to be! WOW!!! OMG!!! Could I really be seeing the other side? I was flipping terrified...but God is teaching me through this to trust my instinct, which is shielded in HIM.
I have known for a long time that people did not see the real me...and brushed me aside into a "forget" pile. But to have this manifest into a "soul seeing" principle??? WOW!!! I am in utter shock at this phase of my development. No standards based on appearance anymore!!! Thank you God for my new eyes! You bless me indeed!
I've been spiritually blinded! ABBA HALLELUJAH!
I have the ever present sense that I am not concrete in this world. I have seen that I can trust no one in one reality, and everyone in another. I can no longer view the things I see in a simple way. The way that judgement and categorizing people comes into mind so quickly has been swept away. I can no longer classify anyone at any time and have it safely stored in my psyche. This means I am being guided souly by an internal compass. I have deemed it a messed up compass due to all my years of drinking, but non the less I have a compass.
In fact, I am not even real sure what my own body looks like right now! How odd! Nothing tangible and superficial here. AND the sick and deformed of this world? They are the spectrum I see in a twist of beauty. I have no acceptance of affirmation based on looks! Zero. It is as if I truly have to produce my joy and contentment from what is inside of me. AND what is of God.
I was at the Mental Health Center waiting in the lobby for an hour on Monday and it made me frightful to think that what I was seeing wasn't real!!! That the sick and lame, were not in fact who they appeared to be! WOW!!! OMG!!! Could I really be seeing the other side? I was flipping terrified...but God is teaching me through this to trust my instinct, which is shielded in HIM.
I have known for a long time that people did not see the real me...and brushed me aside into a "forget" pile. But to have this manifest into a "soul seeing" principle??? WOW!!! I am in utter shock at this phase of my development. No standards based on appearance anymore!!! Thank you God for my new eyes! You bless me indeed!
I've been spiritually blinded! ABBA HALLELUJAH!