I was split between two worlds...
and now the aching memories of what I cannot touch.
Simplified into a place I don't belong...
and the magic is gone,
and zero understanding of how or whence I came to.
How it could be so real?
and I am frustrated...
and real, and in questioning.
For when I am not there, I am not...
and when I am here, I feel nothing but disappointment.
I miss all the love,
I miss all the joy,
but I do not miss the fear.
One World, One plain girl.
Medicated.
This is my 400th post...and still plain as day doesn't matter who I am. It only matters to me...its only the world I have experienced. Seems for a big reason that it is inexpressibly movie like to me, and yet I can't get a take on it. Just another dolla bill ya'all to the big medical machine. Just another voice that does not matter in these Upside Down States.
Tired of trying to figure this out. Should I sell out and hide in a box? A cookie in a cutter. A silent doll face, normal to this world? I am tired of screaming in a dream. Always waiting for the clear direction and it never comes...my questions are never answered.
Blah blah blah, guess I am medicated away. Who's design is that anyway? Who is trying to stifle me? Who does it benefit for me to feed the machine? Make me feel trapped in monotony...boredom so clenching it means I am well. Well I don't know who to "be well," anymore. Its all too confusing, the things I have seen and experienced.
I know You are there God, so why won't you lift me up? I need this shit explained! Soon.
and now the aching memories of what I cannot touch.
Simplified into a place I don't belong...
and the magic is gone,
and zero understanding of how or whence I came to.
How it could be so real?
and I am frustrated...
and real, and in questioning.
For when I am not there, I am not...
and when I am here, I feel nothing but disappointment.
I miss all the love,
I miss all the joy,
but I do not miss the fear.
One World, One plain girl.
Medicated.
This is my 400th post...and still plain as day doesn't matter who I am. It only matters to me...its only the world I have experienced. Seems for a big reason that it is inexpressibly movie like to me, and yet I can't get a take on it. Just another dolla bill ya'all to the big medical machine. Just another voice that does not matter in these Upside Down States.
Tired of trying to figure this out. Should I sell out and hide in a box? A cookie in a cutter. A silent doll face, normal to this world? I am tired of screaming in a dream. Always waiting for the clear direction and it never comes...my questions are never answered.
Blah blah blah, guess I am medicated away. Who's design is that anyway? Who is trying to stifle me? Who does it benefit for me to feed the machine? Make me feel trapped in monotony...boredom so clenching it means I am well. Well I don't know who to "be well," anymore. Its all too confusing, the things I have seen and experienced.
I know You are there God, so why won't you lift me up? I need this shit explained! Soon.