Wish...

I wish I could be light hearted...
I just wish I could be light and not so heavy...
Not so poor and misunderstood.
Undeserving of prosperity?
Don't I try and try?
But I can't fit your normal punch clock...
So here I sit in this little town, drowning in poverty.
Going through struggles that define what's important,
Like a teacher of wants, what can I go without?
Not that I need wealth, I just want to not worry and trust my God provides.
Hasn't he always provided for me?
And I do take!
I do, a lot.
So Father.
Teach me in this time what I can go without.
Show me how to just be.
Not fear of running out...
But to a place my cupboards don't define me.
My closets don't need filling...
I don't need to smoke expensive cancer!
God help me ration what you give me.
Teach me how to make gifts that matter,
Not to buy.
Teach me thrift and Conner ways of doing things.
If I am to be a convict,
Then take the silver spoon wedged in my mouth...
And show me how to be poor.
Don't make me dream of wealth from a book.
Take it all from me and teach me to just be.